Addiction is bad for health. But not always! Because laughter is the best cure for addiction, and when it comes to addiction jokes, you are bound to get addicted to them! So, let’s crack up our funny bones with these funny and hilarious addiction jokes!
Funny Addiction Puns
Nothing is funnier—and we’re addicted to laughter here—than these hilarious jokes about addiction! Get your fill today; there’s no need to break the habit! Use these clever addiction jokes and puns to make yourself and your friends laugh out loud.
I am hopelessly addicted to the hokey pokey. I’ve really improved myself this year.
My girlfriend informed me that she was ending our relationship due to my habit of changing shirts every 30 minutes. “Wait!” I exclaimed. “I can change”.
Because of my SpongeBob addiction, I was hospitalized. I was assigned to the Squid ward.
I’m addicted to masturbating. However, I’m beating it.
Greetings and welcome to the conference about plastic surgery addiction. There are many unfamiliar faces in the audience, and I have to admit that I’m dissatisfied.
According to studies, one in six of your pals has a gambling problem. I’m betting on Peter.
My acquaintance expressed concern to me about his addiction to playing the guitar. I advised him not to worry.
I’m dependent on brake fluid. I can stop whenever I want, which is fantastic news.
I once battled a debilitating porn addiction. These days, I like less violent porn.
I asked my wife, “How can I stop my addiction?”
because she’s sick of my nonstop stream of jokes. She retaliated, “By whatever means necessary!” “No, it doesn’t,” I giggled.
How can a porn addiction be broken?
Simply defeat it.
I’m over my dependency on Tipperary. But there is still much to be done.
I’m not addicted to cocaine. Simply put, I enjoy the smell.
At the blacksmith shop, taking inventory has become a serious obsession for me. Everybody has their vices.
It’s encouraging that the Japanese chef is beating his alcoholism. He is already two years old.
I can’t stop bringing up obscure Bruce Willis film references. People have made an effort to stop me, but you already know what they say. old patterns…
When you are unable to overcome your dependence on midday naps, what do you name it?
Re-naps.
Can you help me overcome my bondage addiction?
I asked my therapist. “I wish I could help you, but my hands are tied”, he said.
What do you call a prophet who abuses cocaine?
Nostril-Damus.
I’m utterly devastated. I broke up with my girlfriend because of my long-term gambling addiction. I’d give anything to get Her back.
I have to look directly at Jane’s Addiction clips on YouTube to see them. My PerryFerrell vision must be gone.
How can you get in touch with an alcoholic who denies having a problem?
The Jack Denials.
Due to my addiction to horse racing, my wife and children have threatened to leave the house. They then take off!
My helium addiction is out of control, yet no one is listening to my pleas for assistance.
If every fifth caller was a winner, gambling addiction hotlines would be so much more effective.
Is it accurate to suggest that a man’s addiction is out of control if he becomes addicted to sex after becoming addicted to masturbation?
Yes, I am addicted to heroin (Pull out a young adult novel with a strong female lead).
Our entire family is quite concerned about my grandfather’s dependence on Viagra. Grandma is extremely upset about it.
There are times when I genuinely believe I have overcome my addiction to porn, but then I am reminded that my beloved Michael Jackson song is “Beat It.”
I’m addicted to oxygen. Yesterday, I made an attempt to stop, but after a minute, I felt blue.
My life has been destroyed by my addiction to porn. But I’m delighted I managed to control it.
Addiction Puns
One of the most underutilized resources accessible to patients in the early stages of recovery is humor. Because of how releasing laughter is, we frequently use the adage “laughter is the best medicine.” So, the inevitable addiction jokes are causing the chuckles. Let’s simply laugh aloud at these jokes about addiction.
I recently lost my wife to a gambling addiction. What are the chances of me getting her back? I ponder.
Why do you introduce yourself to everyone if Alcoholics Anonymous is called that?
A friend was describing to me how he became addicted to Twitter. I didn’t stick with him.
What should you do if you have a seaweed addiction?
Sea kelp
Ladders are my dad’s addiction. He continues to use them to get high.
What is a religious drug user known as?
crystal methodist
My wife presented me with a choice. It’s either her or my sweets addiction. Making a decision was simple as pie.
Due to the smell, I have a habit of ordering hatchets from foreign nations. I adore the aromas of ax cents.
Did you know about the thief who broke into a drug addict’s home in search of cash?
The heroin user sprang up and joined him in his search.
My body is a distillery with legs, not a temple.
“Granny, have you seen a bottle of pills?” a youngster asks his grandma. The bottle bears the label “LSD.” To hell with the medications, the granny responds. Has the dragon been spotted in the kitchen?
An automobile is occupied by a crackhead, a heroin addict, and a drug dealer. Who is the driver?
The police.
What is the first sound a drug addict entering the room in a suit hears?
Please stand up, defendant.
Cocaine is never the answer. Unless, of course, you disintegrate it in water.
How many addicts to heroin are required to replace a lightbulb?
Four. Three people should smoke till the room turns spinning while one person holds the lightbulb.
What does a man consider to be a healthy diet?
On each hand, a Budweiser!
Why drive drunk when you can fly high instead?
Gf: You’re a drug, girl. Bf: Why do you need me so badly?
Gf: “No,” as you are the state of Montana’s most wanted person.
Did you hear about the rising divorce rate attributed to Fortnite addiction?
They have two weeks to resign.
My girlfriend gave me an alternative today: choose between her and my blatant sweets addiction. It was a piece of cake.
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