150+ Beard Puns that You Will Surely Shave-Our

Beards amongst facial hair types are a fun way to make a man look dressier than usual, which gives off an intense and beardiful look.

Men with beards are stereotypically tall, well-built, and fearful, but a bunch of beard puns might also crack their humorous side open. I mustache you to read this specially curated list of beard puns if you relate!

Funny Beard Puns

I mustache you a question, do you like beard puns? If yes, I mustache you to read these amazing beard puns and shave some laughter amongst your friends who have beards. Have a beardiful time because these beard puns turned out to be beardy funny.

  • Ever since I got facial hair, I feel beardiful.
  • I couldn’t eat more because my stomach felt beardiful.
  • It is so beard that the weather forecast was wrong again today.
  • It was his 21st beard-day, and I wanted to throw a surprise party for him.
  • It is a very beard day.
  • Have a beardiful day, lovelies!
  • I mustache you a question, do you like beard puns?
  • These beard puns are beardy funny.
  • I mustache you to read John’s new book on beard puns.
  • I could not beard it, so I shaved my beard.
  • John looks very beard without any facial hair.
  • Last night, we got so drunk and beer-d, we passed out in the living room.
  • Sarah and Harry still haven’t returned from their trip to the forest. I hope they weren’t killed by a bear-d.
  • As a child, I liked to watch Pooh Bear-d eat pots and pots of honey.
  • Today is a beardy warm day for July, i.e., the monsoon season.
  • We live in the most eventful and beardiful era of human history.
  • John learned to shave his facial hair on his beardy own.
  • The man with the brown beard looked beardy cool.
  • “A little beardy told me you two got engaged. Congratulations!” My best friend exclaimed, leaving me smiling cheekily.
  • I am beardy tired after working out so much today.
  • “Are you beardy to go?” Asked Harry to Sarah before leaving for their new road trip adventure.
  • “I had a beardy great time with you,” said John to Sarah after dropping her home.
  • Today is a beardy special day.
  • I cannot shave the question for later so I mustache you.
  • John couldn’t shave his beardiful beard.
  • “I’m sorry, we couldn’t shave him,” said the doctor to John’s family who was on his death bed now.
  • I had a beard dream that I am suddenly clean-shaven, and I instantly woke up with a sweaty forehead.
  • “Have a fan-taches-tic day at work, beardiful!” I told my husband as he walked out of the front door and into his car.
  • I had a beard-ass dream that I am suddenly clean-shaven, and it freaked me out.
  • “I mustache you, are you having a good time?” the flight attendant asked me upon noticing my uneasiness in the turbulent flight.
  • I’m not sure if I can join your plans in the weekend because I ran out of my shavings.
  • I have enough money in my shavings account to opt for masters.
  • As a literature student with a good beard, I idolize Shakes-beard.
  • Sarah’s exams had just ended, and she was as free as a beard.
  • I couldn’t beard the flight on time because I lost my bearding pass.
  • Harry preferred a simple beard and butter toast for breakfast every morning before leaving for work.
  • My grandfather always used to say, a penny shaved is a penny earned. Alas, I’m broke out of all my shavings now.
  • I put on a shave face everyday and present myself in front of the world.
  • The new barber in town dug his own shave by ruining the man’s haircut.
  • The men with the beards got into a shave and nasty brawl in the bar.
  • Sarah was in shave danger for going unchaperoned with the man with the beard.
  • The little boy learned to shave his own way into this vast world.
  • Before the New Year, Sarah and Harry went to a shave party to dance before seconds of 2023.
  • Life is not always about beard and skittles; it’s about getting out there.
  • Harry had gone out of the house to get another bottle of beard.
  • Harry and Sam coincidentally met at the beard store and decided to get together and enjoy the Friday evening with alcohol and beard.
  • Sarah’s luggage was as light as a beard’s feather.
  • A stray beard flew into Harry’s home, and he was happy to feed it some grains.
  • They say a bunch of rare beards in the wildlife sanctuary.
  • Harry decided to start working on his assignment as soon as he got it, because the early beard always catches the worm.
  • “A beard in the hands is worth two in the bush,” said my mentor, pointing towards my heart.
  • These beard puns are hair-larious!
  • Harry refused to go out with his friends at the weekend because he was shaving up for a new fiddle.
  • “I mustache you, if you have nothing to hide, may eyebrows your digital devices?” asked the police inspector to the man with the beard on suspecting him of a recent crime in the neighborhood.
  • Those who cannot keep a beard must shave from the trouble.
  • “I mustache you to shave your facial hair before going in for the surgery,” the surgeon said to the patient with a beard.
  • The man with the beard was bearded out to meet a clean-shaven man.
  • The little boy struggled to shave the green vegetables down his throat that his parents thought were healthy.
  • When the barber accidentally shaved Harry’s beard, he had to compenshave him for the grave mistake.
  • Harry had shaved up for his first solo trip to Ladakh.
  • Harry shaved himself from the trouble and trimmed his beard.
  • The man with the beard was beardy strong and powerful.
  • Men with beards have shave-ral options of styling and dressings themselves according to the current fashion trends.
  • Having a beard is an expen-shave job.
  • One should shave-our their time with their beardiful beards.
  • The man with the beard honestly beard going to the barber because of all the recent mishaps.
  • “Shave yourself from the trouble, do not keep a beard,” said the man with the beard who was tired of keeping his beard tidy.
  • The apologetic barber was beardful of the man with the beard for not doing his job properly.
  • Because of all the chemical treatment, Pavlov’s beard was extremely soft.
  • I didn’t enjoy having a beard at first. But it finally grew on me.
  • A bearded man considered shaving his beard, but then discovered it was rather connected to him.
  • A guy with a beard went to a bank to deposit some money, but the banker informed him his shavings were too tiny.
  • People think the barber won the race again because he took a shortcut.
  • A man growing a beard is analogous to a doctor in that both require patience.
  • A bearded man was investing extensively in the shavings account to secure his future.
  • A clean-shaven stand-up comic stands out because their humor is razor-sharp.
  • Shaving your beard properly might give you a leg up in life.
  • When a bearded guy went shopping for aftershave, he was unhappy to learn that it was “out of odor.”
  • Every poet’s goal is to have Shakes-beard beard’s style.
  • Shouldn’t the ‘beard’ of the nation be a highly beard man who enjoys singing fables?
  • When a student inquired about money and shavings, the teacher said, “Please razor your hands first and then ask the questions.”
  • When the customer inquired about his beard style, the barber said, “Can you shave it for later?”
  • “I must-ache you how did you manage your finances?” questioned a client, who was pleased by his barber’s financial stability. “I definitely believe in shaving on a regular basis,” the barber responded.
  • A barber-queue arose when a significant number of people waited outside a salon for a haircut.
  • People could tell that the thickly beard guy was brave enough to beard the lion if he wanted to.
  • A poultry farmer was looking for a gadget to simply shave cheese since it would be quite tasty and beneficial.
  • A barber took part in the no-shave November challenge and lost all his shavings as a result.
  • My barber is always optimistic, no matter how big the problem is; he uncurls it and rests a sheared.
  • Anything kept by a barber for their children must be a heirloom.
  • The man with the renowned beard adored it so much that shaving it required extreme power.
  • “Do you like some goatee?” a barber asked a shepherd as he invited him to breakfast.
  • I informed my barber I had a job interview, so I told him I wanted the nicest haircut possible, and he remarked, “Yes, that will be a terrific head start for the interview.”
  • Because the moon needed a haircut, he headed to the lunar eclipse.
  • A barber couple’s relationship was no longer salvageable as it came to an end.
  • Because the firm had a lot of condition-errs, the hairdressers who went for an interview declined to take the job.
  • When a barber shaved a customer’s brows, the customer said, “It was none of your bush-i-ness.”
  • “Do not shave your mustache; it looks fan-Stache-tic this time,” the barber said.
  • Barbers are well-known for their driving abilities, as they are familiar with all the town’s shortcuts.
  • The barber wanted to reduce weight, so he started performing hairobics.
  • The barber advised the mother of the small kid to let her hair down since she was becoming nervous.
  • The gym trainer advised that I color my hair since it appears to be the greatest option for my body type.
  • The customer’s hair stood on end when he realized that the barbershop, he went to was haunted.
  • Because the boss had a poor hair day, everyone’s day was cut short.
  • I had a ridiculous disagreement with my hairdresser, which has now developed into a hairy one.
  • A bald man walked out of the wig shop without purchasing the wig because he believed it was too expensive.
  • The customer thought his barber was too sluggish with the scissors. He only wanted him out of his hair!
  • Before cutting hair, the attentive barber was known to examine it by the hair’s breadth.
  • The saints were seeking for a name for their church when the barber suggested “h-airway to paradise.”
  • We were interviewing candidates for the position of newest member of the hair force, but no one made the cut.
  • Their lives may have been cut short because of the accident.
  • I know a few millionaires who made their money by chopping a great lot of hair.
  • They’ve created a 007 spinoff for hairdressers named James Blond.
  • Wait a minute, this salon seems familiar, I think I’ve been there before!
  • My date canceled at the last minute, so I’m all dressed up and without a place to go.
  • I heard you’re upset because you got a poor haircut; don’t worry, I shave every day!
  • The hairdresser has excellent narrative abilities by adding twists to a tricky scenario.
  • If you don’t wave back, wavy hair may become irritated.
  • Johnny described a dream in which he saw a creature covered in hair. According to him, it was a hair-raising event.
  • Every hairstylist turns out to be the finest curler.
  • Supermodels want their hair to be done so that not a single hair is out of place.
  • What do you call someone who shaves 20 times a day but still has a beard at the end of the day? A barbershop.
  • After a terrible day, going to a salon is usually the greatest option; it is always full of hair-laughing individuals.

Beard Jokes

I mustache you, are you having a good time reading these beard puns? Shearlocke Holmes is on the investigation to find out if these beard puns were successful in bringing a beardiful day to your hands. Shave-our the moment and have fun with your friends by quoting these fun beard puns!

  • Why wasn’t John ready to shave his beard? Because it grew on him.
  • Why were a bunch of bees following John? Because he had a bee-herd.
  • How did the man with the beard ask out his crush? By Saying, “Do you mind if I comb over and take you out for coffee?”
  • What did the man with the beard say to his crush? “You are beardiful.”
  • What did the man with the beard say to his crush? “You are beard but wonderful.”
  • Why were the men with the beards scared on Halloween? Because it was a beardy scary neighborhood.
  • What did the aloof man with the beard say at his friend’s bachelor party? “I am only here for the beard.”
  • What did the aloof man with the beard say when he entered the bar with his friends? “I am only here for the beard.”
  • What did the man with the beard say to his friend before entering into a nasty brawl? “Hold my beard.”
  • Who did the man with the beard idolize as a literature student? William Shakesbeard.
  • What did the man with the beard say to his child before he left for school? “Have a beardiful day.”
  • What book was the man with the beard reading in the public library? Aldous Leonard Huxley’s Shave New World.
  • What were the men with the beard watching on a Saturday afternoon? Batman: The Shave and the Bold.
  • Why was the man with the beard suddenly scared? Because he felt like someone walked over his shave.
  • What song was the man with the beard humming to himself? “Heat shaves been faking me out; can’t make you happier now.”
  • What song was the man with the beard humming to himself? “One scotch, one bourbon, one beer.”
  • What song was the man with the beard humming to himself? “You don’t know you’re beardiful, oh-oh; that’s what makes you beardiful.”
  • What did the man with the beard say to the broken man at the bar? “Life is not always about beard and skittles.”
  • What did the Simpson with the beard say? “I Don’t Wanna Know Why the Caged Beard Sings.”
  • What cartoon was dear to the man with the beard as a child? Tweety Beard.
  • Where did the men with the beard decide to visit the upcoming weekend? The beard sanctuary.
  • Why was the man with the beard getting irritated listening to beard puns? Because they are very beard.
  • Who was the famous detective with the huge beard? Shearlocke Holmes.
  • Who was the famous poet with the huge beard? William Shakesbeard.
  • What did the barber say to the man with the beard? “Your mustache and beard look fan-tache-stic, good sir!”
  • What did the man with the beard say to the barber when he offered to shave it off? “It is none of your bush-i-ness.”
  • What did the man with the beard say to the barber when he offered to shave it off? “Shave yourself.”
  • What did the barber say to his assistant when he was busy with a client? “Can you shave it for later?”
  • What did the teacher at the hairstyling school say to the lousy students who were being noisy in the classroom? “Razor hands and then speak.”
  • What is a cow’s favorite type of facial hair? A moo-stache.
  • What did the desperate child cracking beard puns ask his uncle? “I mustache you, are you finding these beard puns funny?”
  • What did the teacher say to Harry when he reached the class tardy? “I mustache you to shave and be presentable.”
  • What did the barber say to his client when he shaved off his beard? “I shaved you from the trouble.”
  • What did the customer say to the barber who was occupied shaving a client’s beard? “Shave me too.”
  • What did the barber say to his client when he judged the shape of his beard on his face? “I mustache you to shave more.”
  • What did the client say to the barber when he finished shaving his beard? “Thank you, this looks fan-tache-stic!”
  • Who did the men with the beard contact when the barber who ruined a man’s beard mysteriously disappeared? Shearlocke Holmes the famous detective with a beard.
  • Who was the famous English poet who wrote a poem about beards? William Shakesbeard.
  • What did the barber say when he accidentally shaved off his client’s beard? “I am sorry, good sir, I was mis-shaven and thought I had to shave your beard off.”
  • What did the man with a ruined beard say when the barber ruined his beard? “I mustache you to leave and shave yourself.”
  • What did the man with a ruined beard say when the barber ruined his beard? “I mustache you to leave before you ruin anything else.”
  • What did the man with the beard crave in the fancy restaurant? Perhaps some shave-ory.
  • This year’s Easter Bunny was late since it was his terrible hare day.
  • What do you call a beardless goat?

A beard.

  • A locksmith asks Shear-lock Holmes, the greatest hairdresser in town, to do his hair.
  • Barbers in Egypt used to write Hairoglyphs.
  • What does a man with a beard do with his beard clippings?

Their shavings are responsible.

  • Why did Penny continue to shave his beard?

A penny earned is a penny shaved.

  • What exactly is an elderly and wise dragon?

A dragon with a beard

  • Why don’t individuals with beards require a vacuum cleaner?

They have a crumb catcher on their faces already.

  • What do you call a beardless bald chemistry teacher?

Heisenberg.

  • What did Darth Vader say to his clean-shaven henchman as a hipster?

“I’m disturbed by your lack of a beard!”

  • What are the best nuts for a beard?

Mustachios.

  • My friend and I are competing in a beard-growing competition…

Right now, it’s neck and neck.

  • What happened to the man who was reluctant to grow a beard?

He finally warmed to it.

  • How many bearded guys are required to replace a light bulb?
  • What prompted the astronaut to grow a beard in space?

He desired facial hair.

  • One to perform the real work, and nine others to complement each other’s beards.
  • What prompted the man with a receding hairline to grow his beard?

He was making plans for a head.

  • What did the beardy man call his pottery shop?

Potter’s hair.

  • Why did the guy sue the barber because he touched his beard?

He interpreted it as embarrassment.

  • What did the man say when he shaved his beard?

“Hair doesn’t go anywhere!”

  • Why do individuals dislike shave their beards?

They’re naturally drawn to it.

  • Why was the man who had been growing his beard for a year terrified of the barber?

The barber was a forerunner of his fate!

  • What caused the bearded man’s shaving product company to fail?

Due of the razor-thin margins

  • “Are you ready for a zombie apocalypse?”

First and foremost, a zombie apocalypse would seriously disrupt my skin care regimen.

  • The first person to exfoliate their face did so by mistake, as in tripping and landing on their face in the sand- wow, feels smooth!
  • When you see someone with flawless skin, you start bothering them about their skincare regimen, but you haven’t changed your bedsheets and pillowcases
  • In three weeks, your towel hasn’t been washed in two months, and you have no idea what exfoliation is.
  • apply to me One face mask like that will compensate for months of poor skincare habits.
  • My true skin care routine consists of spraying water on my face after sobbing off my makeup.
  • After shaving the man’s beard, what did the barber say to him?

“Everything excellent must come to an end.”

  • Why did the man with no beard glue a bunny to his face?

Then he’d have the facial hair he’d always desired.

  • Why was the man purposefully kicked in the face by a horse?

He desired a mustache in the shape of a horseshoe.

  • What caused the toy aeroplane to crash onto the bearded man’s face?

He was wearing a strip.

  • Why was the town’s sheriff awarded to the bearded man?

He sported a gunslinger’s beard!

  • Where are bearded inmates sent?

The Gillette.

  • Why did the prince with the beard marry Rapunzel?

He desired a harrowing conclusion.

  • Why did the beardless man turn down an invitation to a charity event?

It was an investment razor.

  • What did the man’s beard say once it grew back on his face?

“I used to be hair!”

  • What happened to the clown with the beard after he was booted out of the circus?

He had to give up his side hustle.

  • What did the well-dressed bearded goat order at the cafe?

It’s a goa-tea.

  • Why is Santa not permitted to shave his beard?

It’s written in his clause.

  • What did the balding man and the beard-growing adolescent have in common?

Every hair matters to them!

  • Why didn’t the barber inquire about beards?

He shaved it for later.

  • What made Ivan Pavlov’s beard so silky, smooth, and well-kept?

He had to condition it.

  • Why did the adolescent receive a grooming kit for his birthday?

His shaventeenth birthday has arrived.

  • What is the least favorite basketball team of a bearded hipster?

The Clippers of Los Angeles.

  • Where does a beard stylist get his grooming supplies?

Shaven Eleven is a Shaven Eleven.

  • Where does a beard style fanatic go on vacation?

Shave-Illa.

  • Why did the criminal cut his beard before stealing a bank?

They desired to be a skilled crook.

  • Why couldn’t the man with the thick beard figure out what was causing his itch?

He couldn’t get to the bottom of the problem.

  • Why did the man assist his pals in shaving their beards?

Shearing is a kind act.

  • Why did the unlucky bearded guy cut his beard?

Because luck favors the shaver

  • Who was responsible for Obi Wang’s beard?

Darth Braider was his name.

  • What did the hipster say to his chef pal with a beard?

“You should savor every bite!”

  • Why did the shaven friend lie about his beard?

He’s a blatant liar.

  • Why are the beard and mustache at odds?

They can’t work together.

  • My father taught me how to be a bearded man when I was a little lad.

He led me into the bathroom, where he ate a razor.

  • I was considering shaving my beard, but I’ve kept it for so long that it now makes the decisions for me.
  • What do all poets with mustaches wish for?

To have Shaken-beard-like facial hair.

  • Why are beards so courteous?

Because they are well-kept.

  • What did Black Beard’s otolaryngologist bill him for?

A swashbuckler!

  • Why did the barber keep agreeing to shave the lion’s fur despite the danger?

It was the source of money for his mane.

  • When it grew cold outside, what did Lord Eddard Stark tell his friends?

Winter is approaching, and with it, the Santa beard jokes.

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