Beards amongst facial hair types are a fun way to make a man look dressier than usual, which gives off an intense and beardiful look.
Men with beards are stereotypically tall, well-built, and fearful, but a bunch of beard puns might also crack their humorous side open. I mustache you to read this specially curated list of beard puns if you relate!
Funny Beard Puns
I mustache you a question, do you like beard puns? If yes, I mustache you to read these amazing beard puns and shave some laughter amongst your friends who have beards. Have a beardiful time because these beard puns turned out to be beardy funny.
- Ever since I got facial hair, I feel beardiful.
- I couldn’t eat more because my stomach felt beardiful.
- It is so beard that the weather forecast was wrong again today.
- It was his 21st beard-day, and I wanted to throw a surprise party for him.
- It is a very beard day.
- Have a beardiful day, lovelies!
- I mustache you a question, do you like beard puns?
- These beard puns are beardy funny.
- I mustache you to read John’s new book on beard puns.
- I could not beard it, so I shaved my beard.
- John looks very beard without any facial hair.
- Last night, we got so drunk and beer-d, we passed out in the living room.
- Sarah and Harry still haven’t returned from their trip to the forest. I hope they weren’t killed by a bear-d.
- As a child, I liked to watch Pooh Bear-d eat pots and pots of honey.
- Today is a beardy warm day for July, i.e., the monsoon season.
- We live in the most eventful and beardiful era of human history.
- John learned to shave his facial hair on his beardy own.
- The man with the brown beard looked beardy cool.
- “A little beardy told me you two got engaged. Congratulations!” My best friend exclaimed, leaving me smiling cheekily.
- I am beardy tired after working out so much today.
- “Are you beardy to go?” Asked Harry to Sarah before leaving for their new road trip adventure.
- “I had a beardy great time with you,” said John to Sarah after dropping her home.
- Today is a beardy special day.
- I cannot shave the question for later so I mustache you.
- John couldn’t shave his beardiful beard.
- “I’m sorry, we couldn’t shave him,” said the doctor to John’s family who was on his death bed now.
- I had a beard dream that I am suddenly clean-shaven, and I instantly woke up with a sweaty forehead.
- “Have a fan-taches-tic day at work, beardiful!” I told my husband as he walked out of the front door and into his car.
- I had a beard-ass dream that I am suddenly clean-shaven, and it freaked me out.
- “I mustache you, are you having a good time?” the flight attendant asked me upon noticing my uneasiness in the turbulent flight.
- I’m not sure if I can join your plans in the weekend because I ran out of my shavings.
- I have enough money in my shavings account to opt for masters.
- As a literature student with a good beard, I idolize Shakes-beard.
- Sarah’s exams had just ended, and she was as free as a beard.
- I couldn’t beard the flight on time because I lost my bearding pass.
- Harry preferred a simple beard and butter toast for breakfast every morning before leaving for work.
- My grandfather always used to say, a penny shaved is a penny earned. Alas, I’m broke out of all my shavings now.
- I put on a shave face everyday and present myself in front of the world.
- The new barber in town dug his own shave by ruining the man’s haircut.
- The men with the beards got into a shave and nasty brawl in the bar.
- Sarah was in shave danger for going unchaperoned with the man with the beard.
- The little boy learned to shave his own way into this vast world.
- Before the New Year, Sarah and Harry went to a shave party to dance before seconds of 2023.
- Life is not always about beard and skittles; it’s about getting out there.
- Harry had gone out of the house to get another bottle of beard.
- Harry and Sam coincidentally met at the beard store and decided to get together and enjoy the Friday evening with alcohol and beard.
- Sarah’s luggage was as light as a beard’s feather.
- A stray beard flew into Harry’s home, and he was happy to feed it some grains.
- They say a bunch of rare beards in the wildlife sanctuary.
- Harry decided to start working on his assignment as soon as he got it, because the early beard always catches the worm.
- “A beard in the hands is worth two in the bush,” said my mentor, pointing towards my heart.
- These beard puns are hair-larious!
- Harry refused to go out with his friends at the weekend because he was shaving up for a new fiddle.
- “I mustache you, if you have nothing to hide, may eyebrows your digital devices?” asked the police inspector to the man with the beard on suspecting him of a recent crime in the neighborhood.
- Those who cannot keep a beard must shave from the trouble.
- “I mustache you to shave your facial hair before going in for the surgery,” the surgeon said to the patient with a beard.
- The man with the beard was bearded out to meet a clean-shaven man.
- The little boy struggled to shave the green vegetables down his throat that his parents thought were healthy.
- When the barber accidentally shaved Harry’s beard, he had to compenshave him for the grave mistake.
- Harry had shaved up for his first solo trip to Ladakh.
- Harry shaved himself from the trouble and trimmed his beard.
- The man with the beard was beardy strong and powerful.
- Men with beards have shave-ral options of styling and dressings themselves according to the current fashion trends.
- Having a beard is an expen-shave job.
- One should shave-our their time with their beardiful beards.
- The man with the beard honestly beard going to the barber because of all the recent mishaps.
- “Shave yourself from the trouble, do not keep a beard,” said the man with the beard who was tired of keeping his beard tidy.
- The apologetic barber was beardful of the man with the beard for not doing his job properly.
- Because of all the chemical treatment, Pavlov’s beard was extremely soft.
- I didn’t enjoy having a beard at first. But it finally grew on me.
- A bearded man considered shaving his beard, but then discovered it was rather connected to him.
- A guy with a beard went to a bank to deposit some money, but the banker informed him his shavings were too tiny.
- People think the barber won the race again because he took a shortcut.
- A man growing a beard is analogous to a doctor in that both require patience.
- A bearded man was investing extensively in the shavings account to secure his future.
- A clean-shaven stand-up comic stands out because their humor is razor-sharp.
- Shaving your beard properly might give you a leg up in life.
- When a bearded guy went shopping for aftershave, he was unhappy to learn that it was “out of odor.”
- Every poet’s goal is to have Shakes-beard beard’s style.
- Shouldn’t the ‘beard’ of the nation be a highly beard man who enjoys singing fables?
- When a student inquired about money and shavings, the teacher said, “Please razor your hands first and then ask the questions.”
- When the customer inquired about his beard style, the barber said, “Can you shave it for later?”
- “I must-ache you how did you manage your finances?” questioned a client, who was pleased by his barber’s financial stability. “I definitely believe in shaving on a regular basis,” the barber responded.
- A barber-queue arose when a significant number of people waited outside a salon for a haircut.
- People could tell that the thickly beard guy was brave enough to beard the lion if he wanted to.
- A poultry farmer was looking for a gadget to simply shave cheese since it would be quite tasty and beneficial.
- A barber took part in the no-shave November challenge and lost all his shavings as a result.
- My barber is always optimistic, no matter how big the problem is; he uncurls it and rests a sheared.
- Anything kept by a barber for their children must be a heirloom.
- The man with the renowned beard adored it so much that shaving it required extreme power.
- “Do you like some goatee?” a barber asked a shepherd as he invited him to breakfast.
- I informed my barber I had a job interview, so I told him I wanted the nicest haircut possible, and he remarked, “Yes, that will be a terrific head start for the interview.”
- Because the moon needed a haircut, he headed to the lunar eclipse.
- A barber couple’s relationship was no longer salvageable as it came to an end.
- Because the firm had a lot of condition-errs, the hairdressers who went for an interview declined to take the job.
- When a barber shaved a customer’s brows, the customer said, “It was none of your bush-i-ness.”
- “Do not shave your mustache; it looks fan-Stache-tic this time,” the barber said.
- Barbers are well-known for their driving abilities, as they are familiar with all the town’s shortcuts.
- The barber wanted to reduce weight, so he started performing hairobics.
- The barber advised the mother of the small kid to let her hair down since she was becoming nervous.
- The gym trainer advised that I color my hair since it appears to be the greatest option for my body type.
- The customer’s hair stood on end when he realized that the barbershop, he went to was haunted.
- Because the boss had a poor hair day, everyone’s day was cut short.
- I had a ridiculous disagreement with my hairdresser, which has now developed into a hairy one.
- A bald man walked out of the wig shop without purchasing the wig because he believed it was too expensive.
- The customer thought his barber was too sluggish with the scissors. He only wanted him out of his hair!
- Before cutting hair, the attentive barber was known to examine it by the hair’s breadth.
- The saints were seeking for a name for their church when the barber suggested “h-airway to paradise.”
- We were interviewing candidates for the position of newest member of the hair force, but no one made the cut.
- Their lives may have been cut short because of the accident.
- I know a few millionaires who made their money by chopping a great lot of hair.
- They’ve created a 007 spinoff for hairdressers named James Blond.
- Wait a minute, this salon seems familiar, I think I’ve been there before!
- My date canceled at the last minute, so I’m all dressed up and without a place to go.
- I heard you’re upset because you got a poor haircut; don’t worry, I shave every day!
- The hairdresser has excellent narrative abilities by adding twists to a tricky scenario.
- If you don’t wave back, wavy hair may become irritated.
- Johnny described a dream in which he saw a creature covered in hair. According to him, it was a hair-raising event.
- Every hairstylist turns out to be the finest curler.
- Supermodels want their hair to be done so that not a single hair is out of place.
- What do you call someone who shaves 20 times a day but still has a beard at the end of the day? A barbershop.
- After a terrible day, going to a salon is usually the greatest option; it is always full of hair-laughing individuals.
I mustache you, are you having a good time reading these beard puns? Shearlocke Holmes is on the investigation to find out if these beard puns were successful in bringing a beardiful day to your hands. Shave-our the moment and have fun with your friends by quoting these fun beard puns!
- Why wasn’t John ready to shave his beard? Because it grew on him.
- Why were a bunch of bees following John? Because he had a bee-herd.
- How did the man with the beard ask out his crush? By Saying, “Do you mind if I comb over and take you out for coffee?”
- What did the man with the beard say to his crush? “You are beardiful.”
- What did the man with the beard say to his crush? “You are beard but wonderful.”
- Why were the men with the beards scared on Halloween? Because it was a beardy scary neighborhood.
- What did the aloof man with the beard say at his friend’s bachelor party? “I am only here for the beard.”
- What did the aloof man with the beard say when he entered the bar with his friends? “I am only here for the beard.”
- What did the man with the beard say to his friend before entering into a nasty brawl? “Hold my beard.”
- Who did the man with the beard idolize as a literature student? William Shakesbeard.
- What did the man with the beard say to his child before he left for school? “Have a beardiful day.”
- What book was the man with the beard reading in the public library? Aldous Leonard Huxley’s Shave New World.
- What were the men with the beard watching on a Saturday afternoon? Batman: The Shave and the Bold.
- Why was the man with the beard suddenly scared? Because he felt like someone walked over his shave.
- What song was the man with the beard humming to himself? “Heat shaves been faking me out; can’t make you happier now.”
- What song was the man with the beard humming to himself? “One scotch, one bourbon, one beer.”
- What song was the man with the beard humming to himself? “You don’t know you’re beardiful, oh-oh; that’s what makes you beardiful.”
- What did the man with the beard say to the broken man at the bar? “Life is not always about beard and skittles.”
- What did the Simpson with the beard say? “I Don’t Wanna Know Why the Caged Beard Sings.”
- What cartoon was dear to the man with the beard as a child? Tweety Beard.
- Where did the men with the beard decide to visit the upcoming weekend? The beard sanctuary.
- Why was the man with the beard getting irritated listening to beard puns? Because they are very beard.
- Who was the famous detective with the huge beard? Shearlocke Holmes.
- Who was the famous poet with the huge beard? William Shakesbeard.
- What did the barber say to the man with the beard? “Your mustache and beard look fan-tache-stic, good sir!”
- What did the man with the beard say to the barber when he offered to shave it off? “It is none of your bush-i-ness.”
- What did the man with the beard say to the barber when he offered to shave it off? “Shave yourself.”
- What did the barber say to his assistant when he was busy with a client? “Can you shave it for later?”
- What did the teacher at the hairstyling school say to the lousy students who were being noisy in the classroom? “Razor hands and then speak.”
- What is a cow’s favorite type of facial hair? A moo-stache.
- What did the desperate child cracking beard puns ask his uncle? “I mustache you, are you finding these beard puns funny?”
- What did the teacher say to Harry when he reached the class tardy? “I mustache you to shave and be presentable.”
- What did the barber say to his client when he shaved off his beard? “I shaved you from the trouble.”
- What did the customer say to the barber who was occupied shaving a client’s beard? “Shave me too.”
- What did the barber say to his client when he judged the shape of his beard on his face? “I mustache you to shave more.”
- What did the client say to the barber when he finished shaving his beard? “Thank you, this looks fan-tache-stic!”
- Who did the men with the beard contact when the barber who ruined a man’s beard mysteriously disappeared? Shearlocke Holmes the famous detective with a beard.
- Who was the famous English poet who wrote a poem about beards? William Shakesbeard.
- What did the barber say when he accidentally shaved off his client’s beard? “I am sorry, good sir, I was mis-shaven and thought I had to shave your beard off.”
- What did the man with a ruined beard say when the barber ruined his beard? “I mustache you to leave and shave yourself.”
- What did the man with a ruined beard say when the barber ruined his beard? “I mustache you to leave before you ruin anything else.”
- What did the man with the beard crave in the fancy restaurant? Perhaps some shave-ory.
- This year’s Easter Bunny was late since it was his terrible hare day.
- What do you call a beardless goat?
- A locksmith asks Shear-lock Holmes, the greatest hairdresser in town, to do his hair.
- Barbers in Egypt used to write Hairoglyphs.
- What does a man with a beard do with his beard clippings?
Their shavings are responsible.
- Why did Penny continue to shave his beard?
A penny earned is a penny shaved.
- What exactly is an elderly and wise dragon?
A dragon with a beard
- Why don’t individuals with beards require a vacuum cleaner?
They have a crumb catcher on their faces already.
- What do you call a beardless bald chemistry teacher?
- What did Darth Vader say to his clean-shaven henchman as a hipster?
“I’m disturbed by your lack of a beard!”
- What are the best nuts for a beard?
- My friend and I are competing in a beard-growing competition…
Right now, it’s neck and neck.
- What happened to the man who was reluctant to grow a beard?
He finally warmed to it.
- How many bearded guys are required to replace a light bulb?
- What prompted the astronaut to grow a beard in space?
He desired facial hair.
- One to perform the real work, and nine others to complement each other’s beards.
- What prompted the man with a receding hairline to grow his beard?
He was making plans for a head.
- What did the beardy man call his pottery shop?
- Why did the guy sue the barber because he touched his beard?
He interpreted it as embarrassment.
- What did the man say when he shaved his beard?
“Hair doesn’t go anywhere!”
- Why do individuals dislike shave their beards?
They’re naturally drawn to it.
- Why was the man who had been growing his beard for a year terrified of the barber?
The barber was a forerunner of his fate!
- What caused the bearded man’s shaving product company to fail?
Due of the razor-thin margins
- “Are you ready for a zombie apocalypse?”
First and foremost, a zombie apocalypse would seriously disrupt my skin care regimen.
- The first person to exfoliate their face did so by mistake, as in tripping and landing on their face in the sand- wow, feels smooth!
- When you see someone with flawless skin, you start bothering them about their skincare regimen, but you haven’t changed your bedsheets and pillowcases
- In three weeks, your towel hasn’t been washed in two months, and you have no idea what exfoliation is.
- apply to me One face mask like that will compensate for months of poor skincare habits.
- My true skin care routine consists of spraying water on my face after sobbing off my makeup.
- After shaving the man’s beard, what did the barber say to him?
“Everything excellent must come to an end.”
- Why did the man with no beard glue a bunny to his face?
Then he’d have the facial hair he’d always desired.
- Why was the man purposefully kicked in the face by a horse?
He desired a mustache in the shape of a horseshoe.
- What caused the toy aeroplane to crash onto the bearded man’s face?
He was wearing a strip.
- Why was the town’s sheriff awarded to the bearded man?
He sported a gunslinger’s beard!
- Where are bearded inmates sent?
- Why did the prince with the beard marry Rapunzel?
He desired a harrowing conclusion.
- Why did the beardless man turn down an invitation to a charity event?
It was an investment razor.
- What did the man’s beard say once it grew back on his face?
“I used to be hair!”
- What happened to the clown with the beard after he was booted out of the circus?
He had to give up his side hustle.
- What did the well-dressed bearded goat order at the cafe?
It’s a goa-tea.
- Why is Santa not permitted to shave his beard?
It’s written in his clause.
- What did the balding man and the beard-growing adolescent have in common?
Every hair matters to them!
- Why didn’t the barber inquire about beards?
He shaved it for later.
- What made Ivan Pavlov’s beard so silky, smooth, and well-kept?
He had to condition it.
- Why did the adolescent receive a grooming kit for his birthday?
His shaventeenth birthday has arrived.
- What is the least favorite basketball team of a bearded hipster?
The Clippers of Los Angeles.
- Where does a beard stylist get his grooming supplies?
Shaven Eleven is a Shaven Eleven.
- Where does a beard style fanatic go on vacation?
- Why did the criminal cut his beard before stealing a bank?
They desired to be a skilled crook.
- Why couldn’t the man with the thick beard figure out what was causing his itch?
He couldn’t get to the bottom of the problem.
- Why did the man assist his pals in shaving their beards?
Shearing is a kind act.
- Why did the unlucky bearded guy cut his beard?
Because luck favors the shaver
- Who was responsible for Obi Wang’s beard?
Darth Braider was his name.
- What did the hipster say to his chef pal with a beard?
“You should savor every bite!”
- Why did the shaven friend lie about his beard?
He’s a blatant liar.
- Why are the beard and mustache at odds?
They can’t work together.
- My father taught me how to be a bearded man when I was a little lad.
He led me into the bathroom, where he ate a razor.
- I was considering shaving my beard, but I’ve kept it for so long that it now makes the decisions for me.
- What do all poets with mustaches wish for?
To have Shaken-beard-like facial hair.
- Why are beards so courteous?
Because they are well-kept.
- What did Black Beard’s otolaryngologist bill him for?
- Why did the barber keep agreeing to shave the lion’s fur despite the danger?
It was the source of money for his mane.
- When it grew cold outside, what did Lord Eddard Stark tell his friends?
Winter is approaching, and with it, the Santa beard jokes.
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