150+ Beard Puns that You Will Surely Shave-Our

Beards amongst facial hair types are a fun way to make a man look dressier than usual, which gives off an intense and beardiful look.

Men with beards are stereotypically tall, well-built, and fearful, but a bunch of beard puns might also crack their humorous side open. I mustache you to read this specially curated list of beard puns if you relate!

Funny Beard Puns

I mustache you a question, do you like beard puns? If yes, I mustache you to read these amazing beard puns and shave some laughter amongst your friends who have beards. Have a beardiful time because these beard puns turned out to be beardy funny.

Ever since I got facial hair, I feel beardiful.
I couldn’t eat more because my stomach felt beardiful.
It is so beard that the weather forecast was wrong again today.
It was his 21st beard-day, and I wanted to throw a surprise party for him.
It is a very beard day.
Have a beardiful day, lovelies!
I mustache you a question, do you like beard puns?
These beard puns are beardy funny.
I mustache you to read John’s new book on beard puns.
I could not beard it, so I shaved my beard.
John looks very beard without any facial hair.
Last night, we got so drunk and beer-d, we passed out in the living room.
Sarah and Harry still haven’t returned from their trip to the forest. I hope they weren’t killed by a bear-d.
As a child, I liked to watch Pooh Bear-d eat pots and pots of honey.
Today is a beardy warm day for July, i.e., the monsoon season.
We live in the most eventful and beardiful era of human history.
John learned to shave his facial hair on his beardy own.
The man with the brown beard looked beardy cool.
“A little beardy told me you two got engaged. Congratulations!” My best friend exclaimed, leaving me smiling cheekily.
I am beardy tired after working out so much today.
“Are you beardy to go?” Asked Harry to Sarah before leaving for their new road trip adventure.
“I had a beardy great time with you,” said John to Sarah after dropping her home.
Today is a beardy special day.
I cannot shave the question for later so I mustache you.
John couldn’t shave his beardiful beard.
“I’m sorry, we couldn’t shave him,” said the doctor to John’s family who was on his death bed now.
I had a beard dream that I am suddenly clean-shaven, and I instantly woke up with a sweaty forehead.
“Have a fan-taches-tic day at work, beardiful!” I told my husband as he walked out of the front door and into his car.
I had a beard-ass dream that I am suddenly clean-shaven, and it freaked me out.
“I mustache you, are you having a good time?” the flight attendant asked me upon noticing my uneasiness in the turbulent flight.
I’m not sure if I can join your plans in the weekend because I ran out of my shavings.
I have enough money in my shavings account to opt for masters.
As a literature student with a good beard, I idolize Shakes-beard.
Sarah’s exams had just ended, and she was as free as a beard.
I couldn’t beard the flight on time because I lost my bearding pass.
Harry preferred a simple beard and butter toast for breakfast every morning before leaving for work.
My grandfather always used to say, a penny shaved is a penny earned. Alas, I’m broke out of all my shavings now.
I put on a shave face everyday and present myself in front of the world.
The new barber in town dug his own shave by ruining the man’s haircut.
The men with the beards got into a shave and nasty brawl in the bar.
Sarah was in shave danger for going unchaperoned with the man with the beard.
The little boy learned to shave his own way into this vast world.
Before the New Year, Sarah and Harry went to a shave party to dance before seconds of 2023.
Life is not always about beard and skittles; it’s about getting out there.
Harry had gone out of the house to get another bottle of beard.
Harry and Sam coincidentally met at the beard store and decided to get together and enjoy the Friday evening with alcohol and beard.
Sarah’s luggage was as light as a beard’s feather.
A stray beard flew into Harry’s home, and he was happy to feed it some grains.
They say a bunch of rare beards in the wildlife sanctuary.
Harry decided to start working on his assignment as soon as he got it, because the early beard always catches the worm.
“A beard in the hands is worth two in the bush,” said my mentor, pointing towards my heart.
These beard puns are hair-larious!
Harry refused to go out with his friends at the weekend because he was shaving up for a new fiddle.
“I mustache you, if you have nothing to hide, may eyebrows your digital devices?” asked the police inspector to the man with the beard on suspecting him of a recent crime in the neighborhood.
Those who cannot keep a beard must shave from the trouble.
“I mustache you to shave your facial hair before going in for the surgery,” the surgeon said to the patient with a beard.
The man with the beard was bearded out to meet a clean-shaven man.
The little boy struggled to shave the green vegetables down his throat that his parents thought were healthy.
When the barber accidentally shaved Harry’s beard, he had to compenshave him for the grave mistake.
Harry had shaved up for his first solo trip to Ladakh.
Harry shaved himself from the trouble and trimmed his beard.
The man with the beard was beardy strong and powerful.
Men with beards have shave-ral options of styling and dressings themselves according to the current fashion trends.
Having a beard is an expen-shave job.
One should shave-our their time with their beardiful beards.
The man with the beard honestly beard going to the barber because of all the recent mishaps.
“Shave yourself from the trouble, do not keep a beard,” said the man with the beard who was tired of keeping his beard tidy.
The apologetic barber was beardful of the man with the beard for not doing his job properly.

Because of all the chemical treatment, Pavlov’s beard was extremely soft.
I didn’t enjoy having a beard at first. But it finally grew on me.

A bearded man considered shaving his beard, but then discovered it was rather connected to him.

A guy with a beard went to a bank to deposit some money, but the banker informed him his shavings were too tiny.

People think the barber won the race again because he took a shortcut.

A man growing a beard is analogous to a doctor in that both require patience.

A bearded man was investing extensively in the shavings account to secure his future.

A clean-shaven stand-up comic stands out because their humor is razor-sharp.

Shaving your beard properly might give you a leg up in life.

When a bearded guy went shopping for aftershave, he was unhappy to learn that it was “out of odor.”

Every poet’s goal is to have Shakes-beard beard’s style.

Shouldn’t the ‘beard’ of the nation be a highly beard man who enjoys singing fables?

When a student inquired about money and shavings, the teacher said, “Please razor your hands first and then ask the questions.”

When the customer inquired about his beard style, the barber said, “Can you shave it for later?”

“I must-ache you how did you manage your finances?” questioned a client, who was pleased by his barber’s financial stability. “I definitely believe in shaving on a regular basis,” the barber responded.

A barber-queue arose when a significant number of people waited outside a salon for a haircut.

People could tell that the thickly beard guy was brave enough to beard the lion if he wanted to.

A poultry farmer was looking for a gadget to simply shave cheese since it would be quite tasty and beneficial.

A barber took part in the no-shave November challenge and lost all his shavings as a result.

My barber is always optimistic, no matter how big the problem is; he uncurls it and rests a sheared.

Anything kept by a barber for their children must be a heirloom.

The man with the renowned beard adored it so much that shaving it required extreme power.

“Do you like some goatee?” a barber asked a shepherd as he invited him to breakfast.

I informed my barber I had a job interview, so I told him I wanted the nicest haircut possible, and he remarked, “Yes, that will be a terrific head start for the interview.”

Because the moon needed a haircut, he headed to the lunar eclipse.

A barber couple’s relationship was no longer salvageable as it came to an end.

Because the firm had a lot of condition-errs, the hairdressers who went for an interview declined to take the job.

When a barber shaved a customer’s brows, the customer said, “It was none of your bush-i-ness.”

“Do not shave your mustache; it looks fan-Stache-tic this time,” the barber said.

Barbers are well-known for their driving abilities, as they are familiar with all the town’s shortcuts.

The barber wanted to reduce weight, so he started performing hairobics.

The barber advised the mother of the small kid to let her hair down since she was becoming nervous.

The gym trainer advised that I color my hair since it appears to be the greatest option for my body type.

The customer’s hair stood on end when he realized that the barbershop, he went to was haunted.

Because the boss had a poor hair day, everyone’s day was cut short.

I had a ridiculous disagreement with my hairdresser, which has now developed into a hairy one.

A bald man walked out of the wig shop without purchasing the wig because he believed it was too expensive.

The customer thought his barber was too sluggish with the scissors. He only wanted him out of his hair!

Before cutting hair, the attentive barber was known to examine it by the hair’s breadth.

The saints were seeking for a name for their church when the barber suggested “h-airway to paradise.”

We were interviewing candidates for the position of newest member of the hair force, but no one made the cut.

Their lives may have been cut short because of the accident.

I know a few millionaires who made their money by chopping a great lot of hair.

They’ve created a 007 spinoff for hairdressers named James Blond.

Wait a minute, this salon seems familiar, I think I’ve been there before!

My date canceled at the last minute, so I’m all dressed up and without a place to go.

I heard you’re upset because you got a poor haircut; don’t worry, I shave every day!

The hairdresser has excellent narrative abilities by adding twists to a tricky scenario.

If you don’t wave back, wavy hair may become irritated.

Johnny described a dream in which he saw a creature covered in hair. According to him, it was a hair-raising event.

Every hairstylist turns out to be the finest curler.

Supermodels want their hair to be done so that not a single hair is out of place.

What do you call someone who shaves 20 times a day but still has a beard at the end of the day? A barbershop.

After a terrible day, going to a salon is usually the greatest option; it is always full of hair-laughing individuals.

Beard Jokes

I mustache you, are you having a good time reading these beard puns? Shearlocke Holmes is on the investigation to find out if these beard puns were successful in bringing a beardiful day to your hands. Shave-our the moment and have fun with your friends by quoting these fun beard puns!

Why wasn’t John ready to shave his beard? Because it grew on him.
Why were a bunch of bees following John? Because he had a bee-herd.
How did the man with the beard ask out his crush? By Saying, “Do you mind if I comb over and take you out for coffee?”
What did the man with the beard say to his crush? “You are beardiful.”
What did the man with the beard say to his crush? “You are beard but wonderful.”
Why were the men with the beards scared on Halloween? Because it was a beardy scary neighborhood.
What did the aloof man with the beard say at his friend’s bachelor party? “I am only here for the beard.”
What did the aloof man with the beard say when he entered the bar with his friends? “I am only here for the beard.”
What did the man with the beard say to his friend before entering into a nasty brawl? “Hold my beard.”
Who did the man with the beard idolize as a literature student? William Shakesbeard.
What did the man with the beard say to his child before he left for school? “Have a beardiful day.”
What book was the man with the beard reading in the public library? Aldous Leonard Huxley’s Shave New World.
What were the men with the beard watching on a Saturday afternoon? Batman: The Shave and the Bold.
Why was the man with the beard suddenly scared? Because he felt like someone walked over his shave.
What song was the man with the beard humming to himself? “Heat shaves been faking me out; can’t make you happier now.”
What song was the man with the beard humming to himself? “One scotch, one bourbon, one beer.”
What song was the man with the beard humming to himself? “You don’t know you’re beardiful, oh-oh; that’s what makes you beardiful.”
What did the man with the beard say to the broken man at the bar? “Life is not always about beard and skittles.”
What did the Simpson with the beard say? “I Don’t Wanna Know Why the Caged Beard Sings.”
What cartoon was dear to the man with the beard as a child? Tweety Beard.
Where did the men with the beard decide to visit the upcoming weekend? The beard sanctuary.
Why was the man with the beard getting irritated listening to beard puns? Because they are very beard.
Who was the famous detective with the huge beard? Shearlocke Holmes.
Who was the famous poet with the huge beard? William Shakesbeard.
What did the barber say to the man with the beard? “Your mustache and beard look fan-tache-stic, good sir!”
What did the man with the beard say to the barber when he offered to shave it off? “It is none of your bush-i-ness.”
What did the man with the beard say to the barber when he offered to shave it off? “Shave yourself.”
What did the barber say to his assistant when he was busy with a client? “Can you shave it for later?”
What did the teacher at the hairstyling school say to the lousy students who were being noisy in the classroom? “Razor hands and then speak.”
What is a cow’s favorite type of facial hair? A moo-stache.
What did the desperate child cracking beard puns ask his uncle? “I mustache you, are you finding these beard puns funny?”
What did the teacher say to Harry when he reached the class tardy? “I mustache you to shave and be presentable.”
What did the barber say to his client when he shaved off his beard? “I shaved you from the trouble.”
What did the customer say to the barber who was occupied shaving a client’s beard? “Shave me too.”
What did the barber say to his client when he judged the shape of his beard on his face? “I mustache you to shave more.”
What did the client say to the barber when he finished shaving his beard? “Thank you, this looks fan-tache-stic!”
Who did the men with the beard contact when the barber who ruined a man’s beard mysteriously disappeared? Shearlocke Holmes the famous detective with a beard.
Who was the famous English poet who wrote a poem about beards? William Shakesbeard.
What did the barber say when he accidentally shaved off his client’s beard? “I am sorry, good sir, I was mis-shaven and thought I had to shave your beard off.”
What did the man with a ruined beard say when the barber ruined his beard? “I mustache you to leave and shave yourself.”
What did the man with a ruined beard say when the barber ruined his beard? “I mustache you to leave before you ruin anything else.”
What did the man with the beard crave in the fancy restaurant? Perhaps some shave-ory.

This year’s Easter Bunny was late since it was his terrible hare day.

What do you call a beardless goat?

A beard.

A locksmith asks Shear-lock Holmes, the greatest hairdresser in town, to do his hair.

Barbers in Egypt used to write Hairoglyphs.

What does a man with a beard do with his beard clippings?

Their shavings are responsible.

Why did Penny continue to shave his beard?

A penny earned is a penny shaved.

What exactly is an elderly and wise dragon?

A dragon with a beard

Why don’t individuals with beards require a vacuum cleaner?

They have a crumb catcher on their faces already.

What do you call a beardless bald chemistry teacher?

Heisenberg.

What did Darth Vader say to his clean-shaven henchman as a hipster?

“I’m disturbed by your lack of a beard!”

What are the best nuts for a beard?

Mustachios.

My friend and I are competing in a beard-growing competition…

Right now, it’s neck and neck.

What happened to the man who was reluctant to grow a beard?

He finally warmed to it.

How many bearded guys are required to replace a light bulb?

What prompted the astronaut to grow a beard in space?

He desired facial hair.

One to perform the real work, and nine others to complement each other’s beards.

What prompted the man with a receding hairline to grow his beard?

He was making plans for a head.

What did the beardy man call his pottery shop?

Potter’s hair.

Why did the guy sue the barber because he touched his beard?

He interpreted it as embarrassment.

What did the man say when he shaved his beard?

“Hair doesn’t go anywhere!”

Why do individuals dislike shave their beards?

They’re naturally drawn to it.

Why was the man who had been growing his beard for a year terrified of the barber?

The barber was a forerunner of his fate!

What caused the bearded man’s shaving product company to fail?

Due of the razor-thin margins

“Are you ready for a zombie apocalypse?”

First and foremost, a zombie apocalypse would seriously disrupt my skin care regimen.

The first person to exfoliate their face did so by mistake, as in tripping and landing on their face in the sand- wow, feels smooth!

When you see someone with flawless skin, you start bothering them about their skincare regimen, but you haven’t changed your bedsheets and pillowcases

In three weeks, your towel hasn’t been washed in two months, and you have no idea what exfoliation is.

apply to me One face mask like that will compensate for months of poor skincare habits.

My true skin care routine consists of spraying water on my face after sobbing off my makeup.

After shaving the man’s beard, what did the barber say to him?

“Everything excellent must come to an end.”

Why did the man with no beard glue a bunny to his face?

Then he’d have the facial hair he’d always desired.

Why was the man purposefully kicked in the face by a horse?

He desired a mustache in the shape of a horseshoe.

What caused the toy aeroplane to crash onto the bearded man’s face?

He was wearing a strip.

Why was the town’s sheriff awarded to the bearded man?

He sported a gunslinger’s beard!

Where are bearded inmates sent?

The Gillette.

Why did the prince with the beard marry Rapunzel?

He desired a harrowing conclusion.

Why did the beardless man turn down an invitation to a charity event?

It was an investment razor.

What did the man’s beard say once it grew back on his face?

“I used to be hair!”

What happened to the clown with the beard after he was booted out of the circus?

He had to give up his side hustle.

What did the well-dressed bearded goat order at the cafe?

It’s a goa-tea.

Why is Santa not permitted to shave his beard?

It’s written in his clause.

What did the balding man and the beard-growing adolescent have in common?

Every hair matters to them!

Why didn’t the barber inquire about beards?

He shaved it for later.

What made Ivan Pavlov’s beard so silky, smooth, and well-kept?

He had to condition it.

Why did the adolescent receive a grooming kit for his birthday?

His shaventeenth birthday has arrived.

What is the least favorite basketball team of a bearded hipster?

The Clippers of Los Angeles.

Where does a beard stylist get his grooming supplies?

Shaven Eleven is a Shaven Eleven.

Where does a beard style fanatic go on vacation?

Shave-Illa.

Why did the criminal cut his beard before stealing a bank?

They desired to be a skilled crook.

Why couldn’t the man with the thick beard figure out what was causing his itch?

He couldn’t get to the bottom of the problem.

Why did the man assist his pals in shaving their beards?

Shearing is a kind act.

Why did the unlucky bearded guy cut his beard?

Because luck favors the shaver

Who was responsible for Obi Wang’s beard?

Darth Braider was his name.

What did the hipster say to his chef pal with a beard?

“You should savor every bite!”

Why did the shaven friend lie about his beard?

He’s a blatant liar.

Why are the beard and mustache at odds?

They can’t work together.

My father taught me how to be a bearded man when I was a little lad.

He led me into the bathroom, where he ate a razor.

I was considering shaving my beard, but I’ve kept it for so long that it now makes the decisions for me.

What do all poets with mustaches wish for?

To have Shaken-beard-like facial hair.

Why are beards so courteous?

Because they are well-kept.

What did Black Beard’s otolaryngologist bill him for?

A swashbuckler!

Why did the barber keep agreeing to shave the lion’s fur despite the danger?

It was the source of money for his mane.

When it grew cold outside, what did Lord Eddard Stark tell his friends?

Winter is approaching, and with it, the Santa beard jokes.

Funny Beard Puns

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