100+ Funny Bed Puns that Will Keep You Giggling in Your Bed

Those of us who enjoy sleeping look forward to going back to bed at the end of the day each day. Perhaps the greatest way to unwind after a long, hard day is to go to sleep. But do you know what improves the relaxing?

Some clever and hilarious bed puns! Perhaps there should be a proverb that goes, “A sleepy pun a night lets you sleep tight?” We could use a few bed puns while we wait for someone to make it popular.

Funny Bed puns

Your bed plays a significant role in your life. It is not unexpected that your time spent sleeping might have a significant impact on your waking life since we spend a third of our lives asleep. If you are having trouble falling asleep, these hilarious bed puns may not be able to cure your insomnia, but they are certainly better than counting sheep.

  • Do you believe Jeff Bezos is a nude sleeper? What about Pajamazon?
  • I just awoke with a bewildered expression on my face. It is because I had dozed off while doing my crossword.
  • Why do dragons frequently snooze throughout the day? It is in order to combat knights.
  • Why don’t keyboards take a nap? It is the end of their two shifts.
  • Scientists have now determined the precise amount of sleep that an adult needs. “Just another five minutes.”
  • Where does the prince slumber if there is a king and a queen-size cushion? It is on the bed of the proprietors.
  • I was perplexed as to why I hadn’t slept all night. Then it finally hit me.
  • What is the term for catching up on missed sleep? Melatonement.
  • I wish I could get paid to sleep. My ideal job would be that one.
  • What kind of bed does the gingerbread guy have? Cookie trays.
  • A whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, the instinct to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is just an impulse away.
  • One time a sumo wrestler came to visit and spent a month sleeping on my couch. It made a bad impression.
  • How do you put a newborn alien to bed? You take off.
  • Just spent $30 on a sleeping bag. I have no sign of how to stir it, though.
  • Books sleep where? It is beneath the sheets.
  • He was bragging about how he sleeps in a racing car bed, my young cousin. He’s got it wrong; I sleep in a genuine automobile.
  • I enjoy having a bedroom lamp on while I sleep. My guy thinks it’s strange. I’m not sure why, but it makes a fantastic hat.
  • The patient asked the anesthesiologist whether he might help him fall asleep. Doctor of anesthesia: “Knock yourself out!”
  • I know someone whose doctor suggested he sleep in a herb garden since he was always running late. I know that seems strange, but he now wakes up on thyme.
  • In his sleep, Chuck Norris keeps the lights on. The reason the darkness is terrified of him is not that he is afraid of it.
  • When Susan B. Anthony slept at work, what did they call her? B. Anthony snooping!
  • What is the term for when your feet fall asleep and won’t get up? Coma-toes.
  • The pasta was instructed to close its eyes and go to sleep by the meatballs, but why? Time for spaghetti in bed.
  • Why did mum stoop over to the medication cabinet every time? She was afraid of rousing the sleeping medicines.
  • What was spoken to the infant broom by the mother broom? Time to leave to sweep.
  • The young girl brought her bike to bed for what reason? She didn’t want to stroll when she was asleep.
  • What motivated the little child to stow sugar beneath his pillow at night? It is because he would so have sweet dreams.
  • Burgers sleep where? It is on a lettuce bed.
  • Have you heard the story of the woman who reliably slumbers on a chandelier? She doesn’t get much sleep as she is a light sleeper.
  • Last night, I unintentionally left my contact lenses in my room. My dreams are more distinct than ever.
  • Due to a medical problem, I must eat when I can’t sleep. Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia is the name of it.
  • Your iPad may be causing you to drowse. A nap is available for that.
  • Baby bats frequently struggle to learn how to sleep on their backs. But they quickly get a hang of it.
  • Everyone is put to sleep by the male pig. You might describe him as a wild boar.
  • Before going to bed, my spouse questioned why I had left a watch on the bed. I informed her that I wished to get up on time.
  • What results from eating cookies in bed? It results in crummy sleep.
  • What caused the sheep to fall asleep? She tallied up her pals.
  • I just automatically fall asleep. Even if I closed my eyes, I could manage.
  • Are you familiar with the brand-new corduroy pillowcases? They’re really grabbing attention.
  • What does James Bond do just before bed? He hides himself.
  • I once heard a tale about a single bed that was elevated onto another by a ladder. Thankfully, I was able to disprove it.
  • “I once performed in a play called breakfast in bed.” Did you play a significant role? “No, just some bread with some butter.”
  • Having trouble sleeping, I sought guidance from a counselor. Sleep on the control of the bed since you’ll rapidly pass out, he said.
  • I noticed a store advertising a bed sale with 50% off everything. All of their beds were just three feet long when I entered.
  • Without alerting his girlfriend, a friend switched out his bed for a trampoline. She impacted the roof.
  • Simba was the last member of the pride to rise each morning. He was king of the lie-in.
  • Why wouldn’t you trust someone who is lying in bed? It is mostly because he lies.
  • How can you determine if an elephant is hiding under your bed? It is when the ceiling is just over your nose!
  • No more chocolate is permitted tonight. You should circumvent going to bed with a full stomach. Oh, Mum. I’ll lay on my side, I swear.
  • At breakfast, a husband and wife were involved in a heated squabble. He yelled, “You aren’t very good in bed either!” before stomping off to work. He made the decision to call home at noon and felt he should make apologies. After numerous rings, his wife took up the phone. Why did it take you so long to respond? I was sleeping. Why were you still in bed at this hour? It is because it is “Second opinion seeking.”
  • What do tigers put on before bed? It wears PJs with stripes!
  • How many times did I instruct you to make your bed, the counselor asked? Jane: I’m unable to reply. I was unaware that I was obliged to keep track.

Bed puns

Every bodily function depends on sleep, including our capacity to fight disease and build immunity, as well as our ability to operate physically and mentally the following day. One of the main factors that determine our sleep is our beds.

A bed is also a factor in creating bed puns to keep you laughing in your bed. So check out our set of Bed puns for you.

  • There were two local buddies speaking to each other. The first said, “I just got a pig.” The second said, “But where would you keep it?” “Your yard is just too little for a pig,” I said. His pal answered, “I’m going to store it beneath my bed.” “How about the scent, though?” He will quickly adjust to that.
  • Without alerting his girlfriend, a friend switched out his bed for a trampoline. She impacted the roof. Have you ever been bedridden? The doctor asks an elderly patient as she undergoes an examination. “I definitely have, and I’ve been table ended and back scuttled a few times too,” the elderly woman answers with a smile.
  • Why do married women weigh more than unmarried women? Single ladies return home, check the refrigerator, and then retire to bed. Married ladies arrive home, check who is in bed, then head to the refrigerator.
  • How many screws are needed to build a lesbian’s bed? None; everything is tongue-in-groove.
  • Why did the little girl bring her bicycle to bed? She didn’t want to sleepwalk, thus.
  • When you’re unable to sleep, what should you do? You are lying on the edge of the bed, about to fall asleep.
  • Why did the man circle his bed so quickly? He desired to get some sleep!
  • Why did the young woman bring a ruler to bed? It is to observe her sleep cycle.
  • Me: Since when do we have that mattress? Wife: Not sure. Mattress completed memory foam: 2.5 years, five months, and two days.
  • I’m undecided as to whether or not I need a new mattress. It would be best if I slept on it.
  • When she left for school, my daughter got a new mattress, but she wasn’t sure if she should retain it. I advised her to consider it throughout the course of the night.
  • A catchphrase for Matt-named individuals. Hey girl, you should sleep with me because my name is a mattress abbreviation. 
  • What do you call an overweight man attempting to test a brand-new tempur-pedic mattress? It is because of severe depression.
  • I discussed whether or not to get the new king-sized mattress that I would use for slumber.
  • How can you know when an elephant has a period? On your nightstand, there is a quarter, and your mattress pad is gone.
  • Why resembles King Joffrey a mattress? King is made of two twins.
  • Did you hear about the bedroom furniture shop owned by Freddie Mercury? Absolutely Nothing Mattress. Only queen sizes are offered.
  • The Sultan quit his job at Mattress City, but why? Already employed by Ottoman Empire as a manager.
  • What distinguishes a motorway from a mattress? If you dump a baby on a mattress, it will wail for hours, but if you throw it on a highway, it will stop crying rather fast.
  • I grabbed the dumb label on the new mattress I had purchased and tore it off. However, when I noticed the federal warning, I was unsure about whether to keep it or throw it away. I made a choice to give it some thought as I slept.
  • Please let me to buying a bed. Of course, lady. Mattress with springs Oh, no! I want to have all year to use it.
  • I’ve been so anxious about the entire mattress purchase. I decided to give it some thought during the course of the night.
  • I hate to watch a woman drink alone, and the booze salesman said when he first started talking. I detest seeing a woman eat alone, the food seller retorted. “Say, what do you guys think of the chilly weather we’ve been experiencing,” the mattress salesperson said.
  • Are German Wehrmacht girls in Holland for any particular reason? It is the troops’ mattresses!
  • Why did the hitman purchase an air bed? He was instructed to lilo by his supervisor.
  • The salesman advised me to sleep on the mattress because I wasn’t sure which one I should get. Evidently, there was a miscommunication.
  • A bed that is passed down down the generations is known as what? A family mattress.
  • My new mattress is made of compressed memory foam. Just as my uncle used to, it supports me.
  • Do you have a memory foam mattress, you ask? Her: I do. Do you want to terrify it?
  • A man and his wife looked for mattresses. She didn’t want one, whereas he did. She was going to remain steadfast whatever he said.
  • Who would want to purchase a Leesa mattress? Please appreciate this joke because my wife is already so tired of it.
  • Why not accept letters from the mattress salesmen’s customers? It is because he disliked breaking news in bed.
  • Someone mentioned that they kept all of their money hidden under their water bed mattress. Thus I assume they had plenty of liquid assets.
  • What is the name for a mattress composed of dead people? It is called the death bed.
  • The mattress fell out of the truck, and the driver merely left it there. He didn’t want to get in distress for serving with a bed.
  • I purchased a mattress because I wanted a place to rest my head after a long day at work.
  • I’m not sure if I want to purchase a particular mattress or not. I believe I should give it some thought during the course of the night.
  • What prompted the hens to purchase a memory foam mattress? It is because they weren’t young adults.
  • My back is beginning to ache from my mattress, but I’m not sure whether I can afford a new one. I’ll perhaps merely give it some thought when I’m asleep.
  • What do you say to your lifting partner after he loses a mattress auction? Bod bud, bad bed bid.
  • I feel horrible about the components of contemporary mattresses. Even memory foam, I’m sure, would wish to forget some things.
  • What else do you call a mattress? It is called a loaf of bed.
  • I once more consumed a memory foam mattress. They taste so much better than conventional mattresses, which I had forgotten.
  • Three men slept in one bed. The man on the left claims that he dreamed about getting a handjob the previous night. The right-hand man claims to have experienced the identical dream. The middle person says, “Oh, that’s strange. In my dream, I was snowboarding.”
  • My wife remarked, “You’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed.” I said, “Shut up, and take this mattress off of me.”
  • What is a quick and simple method for converting a sofa into a bed? Forget the anniversary of your spouse.
  • A man was imprisoned in a room that contained only a bed and a calendar. How is he able to live? He consumes dates from the calendar and sips water from the bed’s springs.
  • Last night was the nastiest night of my life. My inflatable doll and air mattress fled.
  • I started my first day at my new job, which was working in mattress manufacturing. I made my bed for the first time that night.

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