98+ Boot Puns to Make Your Boots Hilarious

Are you searching for the ideal boot pun, joke, or one-liner that will make someone laugh—or at the very least, smirk—when they hear it? If yes, you can choose from one of our most popular jokes about boots, including jokes about shoes, boot puns, sneaker puns, and a variety of other jokes about shoes like heels! 

Funny Boot Puns

The funniest boot puns and jokes have been gathered by us for your enjoyment. 

Start memorizing these puns and jokes about boots to amuse your loved ones, and you’ll quickly defeat the competition. And how about coming up with a few of your own boot puns or jokes? Just a tiny sole will do. (We made that one up ourselves!)

  • How do the rain’s shoelaces get tied? Alongside a rainbow. 
  • Which animal slumbers when wearing shoes? A steed. 
  • Why doesn’t Winnie-the-Pooh wear shoes? Owing to his bare feet. 
  • What sort of footwear do spies wear? Sneakers. 
  • What sort of footwear do mice have on? Squeakers. 
  • What has a leather or canvas exterior and makes a sneezing noise? A shoe. 
  • Why do all shoemakers end up in heaven? Because their soles are sturdy. 
  • What do you get when you cross a pair of shoes with bread? Loafers. 
  • What types of shoes don’t plumbers like? Clogs. 
  • What has a sole, a tongue, and six eyes? A shoe. 
  • What was the shoe’s response to the hat? I’ll continue on my feet, and you follow.
  • Which footwear does Captain Hook dislike the least? Crocs. 
  • Size 10 shoes are used by a butcher who stands 6 feet tall. He weighs how much? Meat. 
  • What did the perpetually tardy man put in his shoes? He could always rely on herbs, like thyme. 
  • Why did Santa’s shoes fall apart? Owing to his abundance of missile toes. 
  • Which letter makes shoes under its own name? A D answers.
  • What kind of shoes do water birds prefer to wear? Martins, the duck. 
  • Why resisted the leather shoe so much? the fact that it couldn’t be sued. 
  • What do you call a dinosaur that is decked out in cowboy boots and a hat? Texan Tyrannosaurus 
  • What sort of footwear do artists wear? Sketchers. 
  • What footwear do frogs wear? Shut toad. 
  • Did you learn about the shoe factory fire? Many soles disappeared. 
  • What transpired when the teacher joined the shoelaces of every student? They traveled as a class. 
  • The boots arrived at class late; why? since he was restrained. 
  • What happens if you consume shoe polish and yeast? You’ll rise and shine each day.
  • What style of footwear does an automobile prefer? Vans. 
  • What are married boots known as? Only friends.
  • When you deliver one of these amusing boots jokes that will brighten someone else’s day, people won’t leave. 
  • A man attends the boot Makers’ 50th Anniversary Dinner. It was merely a group of retired cobblers. 
  • A man fills up his vehicle at a gas station. He tries the first pump, the second pump, and the third pump, but none of them work.Everything the apprentice required was provided by the shoemaker. He handed the man his awl. 
  • A friend of mine went to boot camp because he couldn’t tie his shoelaces. 
  • I formerly had a job at a facility that recycled boots. There was only destruction. 
  • Velcro-closed footwear is a scam. 
  • Because the box my sneakers came with says Converse, I can communicate with them. 
  • My shoes used to be purchased in bulk, but I now only purchase them on foot. 
  • I wish I could afford platform boots, but I can’t. I still have a little height. 
  • I noticed a man with a boot in each ear. He was just hearing music. 
  • One of these boots is wrong, so I need to buy some new ones.
  • This joke was concocted by my six-year-old niece. She might be a comedy prodigy, in my opinion. As to why the sweater was sent to boot camp, to get warm! 
  • Why was the egg unable to survive boot camp? Because he breaks under stress.
  • Two Canadians are traversing the snow. The first person remarks after spotting a boot in a nearby snowbank: A boot, I see. 
  • How come the new computer owner left a shoe in his hard drive? He was instructed to use a boot drive. 
  • Rain is falling in Italy. Because of this, it is shaped more like a boot than a flip-flop. 
  • Why does Italy have a boot-like shape? Because that much garbage cannot fit into a shoe. 
  • Where are shoes trained for the military? Camp Boot.
  • A policeman stops a woman. The policeman approaches the car’s window and addresses the woman, “Mam, do you have any weapons in the car?” In response, the woman says, “Well, I have a 12 gauge in the trunk, a Smith and Wesson in the glove box, a colt on my side, and a derringer strapped to my boot.” What are you frightened about? The officer asks the woman. She replies, “Exactly nothing.”
  • What cereal is a favorite among Android developers? a boot loop.
  • How much plunder does a priest receive? Nun. 
  • What has a stomp, stomp, stomp, squish sound? Elephant with a dripping boot.
  • Why I decided to join the air force The leader asked this question during an all-service briefing that the DOD was holding. I replied that I have the best boots.
  • How would you react if a scorpion was discovered inside your tent? I’d walk on that, a sailor said. I’d squash it with my boot, another soldier said. I’d capture it, remove the stinger, and eat it, a marine said. 
  • Can a Jewish person fit in a car? 50 in the ashtray, two in the front, two in the back, and one in the boot.

Boot Puns

These pun-filled jokes are a surefire way to garner the most laughs, but be careful not to overuse them. And don’t worry if you’re searching for original or amusing boot puns because you just can’t get enough of them. 

  • What distinguishes an ISIS boot camp from a neighborhood school? ISIS boots are less bothersome.
  • What do you name a shoe in Canada? A boot. 
  • The Scotsman and an Irishman square up at a bar… The Irishman cries out, “You Scots cannot consume alcohol! The best drinkers are Irish people!” Scott shouts, “You are not aware of your actions. Under the table, any Scot can drink any Irishman!” In the early morning, the winner was announced, and the waitress gave them boots.
  • I’m going to create a button I’ll call DOS boot that you press to start your computer. 
  • According to history, individuals in the past gave their last names to the things they were known for in a hamlet. For instance, if you have the last name “Smith,” there is a good probability that your ancestors were skilled blacksmiths. 
  • I’m curious what the surname “Dickinson” meant to individuals in those pre-modern times. Because nowadays boots owners have it. 
  • I recently came across a vehicle with a boot sticker that read, “I’m a vet, so I can drive like an animal.”  
  • What do they do right away in boot camp? Examine the privates after taking them outside.
  • Do you have dough on your booty? I knead it, so.
  • My grandfather entered the space holding out his tackle, which was covered with boot polish. Thank goodness he misheard us when we instructed him to turn back his clock. 
  • I received boots for my birthday and then gave them to someone else. So I launched Fortnite twice in quick succession, and it changed to a zombie survival game. It had been 28 days.
  • My mother is Canadian, and my father is Mexican. But I’m not going to taco boot it. 
  • Today, I was removed from the aircraft and placed on the no-fly list. I only said hello to Jack, my pal. 
  • After his cowboy boot broke, what song did Kenny Rogers write? Loose Heel, you chose a good time to leave me.
  • What do you call a soldier who didn’t make it out of basic training? A cop-boot.
  • Two boots have been set up at a Trump event. Why aren’t people waiting in line at this booth, someone wonders. A kissing booth that is.
  • As Myrtle travels down the road in her Volkswagen Beetle, she notices another small, elderly woman who is also driving a Beetle and has stopped with her hazards on. Is everything all right? Myrtle stops her car. The second woman responds, “My poor Beetle has stopped working. I opened the bonnet, and it appeared as if the entire engine had vanished! No worries, I can help,” Myrtle reassured her. Fortunately, I have a backup engine in my boot. 
  • There are two teamsters waiting. One of them abruptly steps on a snail and crushes it with his boot. The opposing party queries, “Why did you do that?” I’ve had that son of a bitch following me all day. 
  • At a tavern not far from where they are both posted, a soldier and a sailor are. Instead of washing his hands after finishing, the sailor immediately heads for the door. Hello, sailor. In boot camp, they told us that we should wash our hands after using the restroom.
  • The COVID incident occurred over the delayed Christmas we celebrated with the in-laws a few weekends ago, and my FIL is the type of jokester that does things like wrap one boot in one present for his wife and the other boot in another. 
  • Look at him turning one present into two, adds the mother-in-law. Then her gift, a winter vest, is revealed to the father-in-law. “Look who’s stretching gifts now; where’s the box with the boots!” I exclaim without skipping a beat. 
  • My dog was found gnawing on my boots. He obviously has excellent shoes. 
  • I feel trembling in my boots. It feels like i have a crush on my boots.
  • Some individuals said that Dora had a sight impairment and that Boots and the audience served as her eyes, according to their father. The father then got them Christmas presents with a Dora theme. Then someone said, “They must have thought you were awful. 
  • The boots I had been coveting were gifted to me by a friend; they weren’t the color I preferred, but beggars can’t have their shoes. 
  • I was in a Texas saloon when a man entered wearing paper cowboy boots, chaps, jeans, a paper shirt, and a cowboy hat. Anyhow, the sheriff barged in and took him into custody for rustling.
  • Where do you put your naughty boots when they are acting up? A boot camp. 
  • When boot camp didn’t go as planned, the boots embarked on a sole-hunting trip. 
  • Apple-bottom jeans and purring boots are all that I do. 
  • I learned that I just needed Specsavers, Boots, and Greggs during the lockdown. All I have in my life are spectacles, drugs, and sausage buns. Western boots. 
  • When a woman entered a Waco pub, she noticed a cowboy with his feet raised on a table. The largest boots she had ever seen were on him. He was asked by the woman if it was true that big-footed males tend to be well-endowed.
  • My friend John handed his younger brother Phil his size 13 boots. The issue is that Phil is a size 9. John left Phil a pair of big shoes. 
  • I entered Boots and requested some benylin. She snarled, “For cough.” “Okay, honey, I just asked,” I answered.
  • Ten years ago, my father neglected to put on his size 14 boots before he went out to get cigarettes. I’ve kept them because of their sentimental importance. That is why I continue to wear these enormous daddy shoes. 
  • I misplaced my rain boots and put them on my Spanish friend’s. It appears that Joaquin was intended for these boots. 
  • My girlfriend needs to stop worrying so much about her brand-new sheepskin boots! Ugg! 
  • I asked a female sporting fur boots and Apple Bottom jeans for water, and it goes without saying that Shawty received water.
  • Something is in my boot, Dad! Is that foot yours? 
  • How were Hitler’s boots fastened? By tying them.
  • What instrument does a boot use in Little Nazis? the shoehorn 
  • Tennis shoes must be worn instead of boots for my sister in the US Navy to properly heal after breaking her foot. She claimed that they forced her to purchase new black shoes in place of her regular footwear. She claimed that forcing her to do it just felt so petty. I remarked to her that it seemed like a Petty Officer’s judgment. When viewing Das Boot, I require new boots.

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