99+ Humorous Clothing Puns to Make Your Day

Items worn on the body are referred to as clothing (also known as clothes, apparel, and attire). Clothes are often made of fabrics or textiles, but over time, they have also been combined from animal skin, various thin sheets of materials, and natural items from the environment. All human societies share the practice of wearing clothing that is primarily limited to humans. 

Funny Clothing Puns

Here is our collection of amusing jokes about clothing. To make you laugh aloud and to share with your friends, below are some obscure clothes peek puns. 

  • I was approached by a man who remarked, “Man, your clothes seem queer.” I acknowledged that they had emerged from the closet this morning. 
  • My wife was carrying a laundry basket full of freshly pressed clothing when she tripped and fell. I observed the whole process. 
  • To go to the grocery store, they claimed gloves and a mask would be sufficient. They were lying; everyone else was dressed. 
  • I was questioned by my wife, “Are you ever astonished at how little people change?” Actually, the procedure is the same, I said. Other than their little clothing.
  • By taking photos of salmon dressed as people, my friend easily earns a lot of money, like shooting fish while wearing clothing.
  • When my wife discovered me transvesting, she informed me it was finished. I then packed up her entire wardrobe and departed. 
  • You can tell a female is either highly interested in you or has a level 99 friend-zoned you if she changes her clothes in front of you. Or perhaps she hasn’t yet noticed you in the tree. 
  • My clothing was competing with one another to see which was the coolest. In the end, there was a tie. 
  • I gave up pressing my clothes. My worries are less urgent. 
  • I’m planning to start a garment-altering business where the goal is to do every work in one hour. Tailor Swift is the name of the thing. 
  • Why does Batman dress in gloomy colors? Batman is afraid of being shot. 
  • Why does Robin dress in a bright color? Batman is afraid of being shot.
  • What does a tongue do when it wants to discard its old clothes? The Salubrity Army 
  • My wife adds, “I’d want to try on the bikini in the front window,” as we pass a clothes store. Me: I believe you must use the restroom in the dressing room with the rest of us. 
  • I informed my tailor that for my approaching wedding, I would be selecting and donning my own attire. Suit yourself, he commanded. 
  • I once encountered a nun who wiped her nose on her clothing. She had a bad routine. 
  • My tailor enjoys mending my clothing a lot or finishing the seams. 
  • What are some signs that your partner is gaining weight? In your wife’s attire, she looks good. 
  • What are cows’ garments known as? Moo. 
  • A new range of baby clothing is available from Gucci. It is known as “Gucci Goo.” 
  • What form of illness results in wrinkled clothing? An absence of iron. 
  • What if I told you that ranch dressing is really another name for cowboy clothing? 
  • I have a compulsive need to change clothing every 30 minutes, and my wife has threatened to leave me because of it. Wait, I can change, I said. 
  • Why do Eskimos use Tide to wash their clothes? Too cold to wash them outside in the Tide. 
  • What makes it a bad idea to get dressed in front of a Pokemon? They could be Pikachu. 
  • We used to be so impoverished that my mother would make our clothes from the leftovers that my dad would bring home when I was a kid.
  • Why was Mike Tyson depressed in the club? They had clothes on. 
  • What sort of attire do frogs wear? Jumpsuits. 
  • When an obese time traveler visits ancient Rome, he discovers that his attire is inappropriate for the setting. After realizing his error, he goes to a toga shop to get some fresh clothing. He notices from a glance around the store that there are no togas big enough to accommodate him. Do you have XL togas? He asks the salesperson as he approaches the counter. Well, yes, the clerk replies. However, why do you require so many? I believed that my clothes were shrinking in the dryer. It turned out to be the fridge all along.
  • When I entered a clothing store, a woman approached me and introduced herself as Jill. A conditional identity is something I’ve never encountered before. 
  • At a garment shop, there was an explosion. There were many comfy t-shirts. I recently learned from the news that many Americans are donating their used clothing to underprivileged Africans. To me, it seems like a waste of time. 
  • Will you get remarried if I pass away? my wife questioned. “I don’t know, love, I don’t think about those kinds of things,” I retorted. I don’t know, and I haven’t thought about it,” I replied. Would you permit her to wear my things, she then enquired. “Nah, she’s not your size,” I retorted. 
  • Why does Melkor own more black garments than Sauron does? He is Morgoth, so. 
  • What kind of attire do houses wear? Address. 
  • Ask Tommy if you need advice on what to wear. It’s Hilfiger out. 
  • Although my nudist friend despises dressing up, she will adamantly follow any dress code regulations. He is transgender. 
  • Before washing your clothes, always remove your pockets. 
  • At the craps table, two bored casino dealers are waiting. Arriving from South Alabama, the stunningly attractive blonde woman places a $20,000 wager on a single roll of the dice. I hope you don’t mind, but when I play topless, I feel much luckier, she explains. 

Clothing Puns

We won’t abandon you like a load of clothes on a line outside, hanging helplessly. The best clothing puns, one-liners, and fashion puns are all ready for you. So let’s take a moment to explore some clever puns. 

  • If a woman is wearing tights, how can you tell? When she farts, her knees expand. 
  • I have a great fashion sense, but I can’t show it because of my financial situation. 
  • Between looking independent and appearing homeless, there is a fine line. 
  • What is slippery and soft? The slipper. Yoga has never been in my yoga pants, behind an American woman in line at McDonald’s. 
  • She is dressed in those jeans, you know, the ones with the Guess patch on the back pocket. I’m estimating a weight of 250–300 pounds. These trends with slim jeans are well known. I am unable to enter them. 
  • My sense of style is just second to a nun. 
  • How were the farmer’s pants repaired? Coupled with cactus patches! 
  • What do you name a burning jacket? The blazer! 
  • The reason behind golfers’ two pairs of pants is just in case they hole out. 
  • I usually struggle to organize my outfit because I’m so frustrated. I feel like I could benefit from some hanger management. 
  • What was Lindsay’s prognosis after she shattered her wrist twice at a New York Fashion Week party? No hard handjobs while intoxicated for six weeks!
  • There are only two things that bother my wife: there isn’t enough closet space. 
  • Yoga pants instantly make you twice as heated. 
  • What would Nicki Minaj to Elsa be like in terms of fashion? I’m a female. 
  • The individuals in the fashion industry are so focused on clothing that I have never understood it. 
  • With a Little Black Dress, one can never be too or too little dressed. 
  • Naturally, gay men dress nicely… They didn’t idle away all that time in the closet. 
  • Turtlenecks are like being strangled all day by a pretty weak guy. 
  • A young boy with a bloody nose, a black eye, and damaged clothing returned home from the playground. It was clear that he had lost a bad fight. He asked his kid what had occurred as his father patched him up. Well, Dad, I challenged Larry to a duel,” the child continued. I also provided him with a choice of guns, you know. The father responded, “Uh-huh, that seems reasonable.” 
  • A man who can speak Spanish enters a clothing store in search of some socks. He eventually reached the menswear section, where a salesperson offered to assist him. The salesperson responded, “We have some very good suits over here, but I don’t understand Spanish. “No, I don’t want costumes. I want calcium supplements, the man said. 
  • What distinguishes the Catholic Church from a clothes iron? All the church wants to do is burn things until everyone is moral. 
  • A huge woman enters a store selling clothes. She says, “I want to view the enormous petite outfits,” in an effort to wow her partner. The sales associate replies, “Mam, I don’t think we have anything to fit,” looking perplexed. The woman announces, “I found it!” before heading to the small area. The woman didn’t respond for a while, but then she finally did. 
  • My gym instructor suggested that I exercise in loose attire. If I had been wearing loose attire, I would not have joined the gym. 
  • I anticipated some downtime after my 50-year career at the company came to an end and kicked back, but my wife had other plans and insisted I take her to the neighborhood mall every day. 
  • I disliked shopping like most men do and sought to enter and out quickly. 
  • She loves to shop, like most women do, and gives me a lot of free time to fill.
  • What kind of clothing does Super Mario prefer to wear? Jeans, jeans, jeans 
  • What clothing manufacturer is preferred by flat earthers? To the End.
  • My wife (the dear) bought me a week of personal training at the neighborhood health club for my 40th birthday this year. Despite the fact that I haven’t played football in 24 years and am still in excellent shape, I thought it would be a good idea to give it a shot. Two guys I encountered were dressed alike. So I inquired as to whether they were gay. They quickly detained me. 
  • The Captain Kirk actor attempted to establish his own company. People simply didn’t want to purchase Shatner Pants for some reason. 
  • What clothesline is a pregnant woman’s favorite? from the womb’s fruit! 
  • To prevent being evicted, a destitute elderly woman had to sell her treasures. She combed through her stale possessions and found a drab copper kettle. The elderly woman dusted it off because she was interested in its potential value. Its neck suddenly burst into a genie. The genie promises to give you three wishes because he has “seen your plights.” The woman was shocked as she continued to read. A five-person family is taking a trip. For the cross-country journey, they rented an RV. They filled the RV with furniture, clothing, and recreational equipment.
  • A woman seeking suggestions on what to wear for an IRS audit consulted her accountant. “Put on your shabbiest attire. Let them believe you are a beggar. She subsequently posed the same query to her legal counsel, who gave her the incorrect guidance. “Don’t be intimidated by them. Put on your best clothes. Now completely perplexed, she went to her rabbi, explained the contradicting opinions, and asked for guidance on how to proceed. 
  • After attending his company’s party, Jack wakes up with a severe hangover and loses clothes. In order to be examined by a doctor, the nurse asked the patient to take off his clothes and put on a gown. “In front of you,” he timidly inquires. “Well, no, but I’ve seen the nude human body before,” the nurse responds. No, not one like mine, the patient remarked. If you saw my naked body without any clothing, you’d die laughing.
  • What outfit does a bouncer prefer to wear? The runner. 
  • I can assure you that I created garments from frozen water, despite the fact that most people don’t believe me. Ice damage.
  • My clothing is so cool that I can’t even touch my body.
  • Clothing makes everything perfect. Just imagine how life would be without clothes.
  • My teacher has the best clothing since she can’t teach us well. 

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