100+ Crystal Puns that Are Actual Gems

If you are looking to crack a gem of a joke, you have come to just the right place. We present to you a set of crystal puns that you will definitely find funny, and over the quartz of time, you will realize that all your sadness has been taken away by the hidden healing crystals in this thread.

Funny Crystal Puns

Are you having a bad day? Are you looking up to a set of crystal puns to make you happier? Why, of quartz, we are ready for the job! We swear, after reading this set of hilarious crystal puns, you will have a better apatite for fun and games in life, and will genuinely start having a good day. Well, that is what our healing crystals tell us.

Of quartz this set of crystal puns is hilarious!
I have an apatite for more crystal puns.
Generally, I have a good apatite, but ever since I got my new crystals delivered to me, I cannot stop looking at them, so I completely forgot to have a meal.
I think we all prefer someone who is crys-tall enough to reach the top shelf amongst all the kitchen cabinets.
The crystal enthusiast was additionally also fluent in the art of gem-nastics.
It is crystal clear that these crystal puns are extremely funny.
Of quartz we all love a bunch of crystals for ourselves.
But of quartz, we all love a bunch of crystals for ourselves.
When the crystal enthusiast fell sick, he lost his apatite to eat anything, so he had to force himself to eat.
The crystals were terrified after being ruby-d last night by some criminals who they had failed to report to the local police station.
Snow joke, ice crystals have a huge possibility of sticking together and falling from the sky, considering the rate of deteriorating temperatures this year.
These monotonous days and my overthinking mind are ruby-ing me of joy!
The crystal preferred to relax after a stressful day of work by sitting on a rocking chair.
I am in lava with this set of hilarious crystal puns.
Crystals have come so far from the stone age after being naturally treated and cut.
People often take the magic of crystals just for granite.
Garnet! I cannot believe how funny these crystal puns are.
When the crystal wanted to use the vending machine, it looked for a quartz-er in its backpack.
All of us should try to be boulder in life if we ever want to try and get ahead in life.
The fit crystals regularly went to the gem to work out and exercise to manifest a healthy lifestyle.
I recently made up this gem of a crystal pun. It shines!
All crystals are terrible at the subject of mathematics, and especially at gem-etry.
I think all of the crystals like to be extra clean and gem free.
The world contains alkynes of crystals. We should be aware of most of them in order to be able to survive in this world.
When they yelled at the stand-up comedian, who was not funny but rather offensive, they spoke my sediments exactly.
The crystals had decided to meet this weekend to play Call of Ruby together.
These crystal puns are pretty coal.
Carbons are always pressured into becoming natural forms of crystal, even when they do not feel like it.
When the geologists tried to shape the crystal like a duck shaped stone, it quacked when it was put under pressure.
When crystals take their last breath, it is our duty to barium.
All carbons have a lot of peer pressure to turn into well off diamonds.
The healthy crystals decided to snack on a pom-a-granite when they were hungry.
I am a-sham-ed for being the victim of buying fake healing crystals.
If you would like to hear more crystal puns, give me a moment, I will dig something up.
When Sarah was told that she might have a gem-bling addiction, she did admit she had an unhealthy amount of crystals stacked up in her collection.
I crystal love these crystal puns, despite the fact that they are not that funny.
The lazy crystal was good at crystalling projects and delaying their delivery.
The crystal was excited to have set up its first crystall for selling all things handmade.
All natural crystals and diamonds have a lot of pressure on them from a young age.
I think all girls would agree with the fact that they like to date crys-tall guys.
I do not think crystals would be fun at parties because they are always so stone-cold sober when they do attend one.
The crystals I know of are very rude because their hearts are made up of stones.
“Of quartz I like these crystal puns,” the healing crystals collector said to the stand-up comedian.
Crystals prefer to have sparkling water at restaurants whenever they visit any.
We are always carbon (craving) for some more crystal puns.
We always have an apatite for some more crystal puns.
The stand-up comedian was a crystar for being able to come up with so many funny crystal puns.
Crystealing is an offense and one should avoid it diligently.
“The crystars look pretty tonight,” said one crystal to the other crystal.

Crystal Puns

You are a gem, and you should not be depressed. So, to make you and a million others happy, we have come up with a set of crystal puns that are guaranteed to make you laugh. Of quartz, we are sure you would laugh. Isn’t that why crystals rock?

What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “You are a gem.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “I think I might be falling in lava with you.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “You rock my world.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “Of quartz, I am definitely falling in love with you.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “You look prettier than all of the crystars in the night sky above us.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “I would never take you for granite.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “Over the quartz of time, I think I might have started falling in love with you.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “It is pretty much crystal clear that I am falling in love with you over time.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “You have ruby-d me of my heart and I think that is lovely.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “Of quartz I love you!”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “Garnet! I think I am falling in love with you.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “You are a gem of a person.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “Whenever you need it, you can always lean on my boulder.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “Are you a Gemini, because you are a total gem.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “You are very sedimental.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “I love talcing to you.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “If you like to talc to me too, would you like to go out with me again sometime soon?”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “Whenever topaz by, my heart starts beating out loud.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “Amethyst our connection.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “My love for you is set in stone.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “You are pretty coal.”
What did the crystal enthusiast slowly falling in love need to say to his romantic interest? “Your lips are red like ruby.”
What do crystals like to drink when at a restaurant? A glass of sparkling water.
What is a wise crystal known as? A crystal ball.
Where do crystals like to sleep? On bedrocks.
What is a band that all the crystals like to jam to? The Rolling Stones.
What is a crystal who believes in LGBTQ rights known as? Crystal queer.
What is a crystal’s favorite fruit? Pom-a-granite.
Why did the crystal stop being friends with the other crystal? Because both of them were taking each other for granite.
How did the geologist manage to win the hefty lawsuit? Obviously, by taking advantage of the quartz system.
What is something that both ice cream and elephants have in common? Both of them come in quartz.
What did the crystal say when it missed its exit during driving? “Garnet!”
What did the insecure crystal say after coming out of the exam hall? “I might not be able topaz.”
What did the wise crystal need to say to the depressed crystal? “Do not make the mistake of taking life for granite.”
What kind of magazine was the crystal reading? The Rolling Stone.
Where does the fit crystal go every evening? To the gem.
Why do crystals wash their hands? To remain gem free.
What did the defensive crystal need to say to the mean crystal? “You are so ruby (rude) to everyone who is around you!”
How do crystals manage to perform well at school? Because they have become adept at not taking anything for granite.
Why did the crystal have a habit of crying so easily? Because it was probably very sedimental.
Why was the crystal so depressed? Probably because it had a hard rock life.
What did Darth Vader need to say to the crystals going on a mission? “May the quartz be with you.”
What did the shopkeeper say when Harry asked him how much the healing crystal would cost? “It costs about a quartz-er.”
Why was the crystal not feeling hungry? Probably because it lost its apatite.
What did the crystal say to the other crystal? You tell me, since when do crystals talc to each other?
What is a crystal known as if it bunks classes? A skipping stone.
What should we do when healing crystals lose their effect? We should barium.
What should we do when crystals take their last breath? We should barium.
Why did the crystal choose to drop out of school? Because it thought that it was too much pressure.
How do diamonds naturally form? They simply coal-apse under pressure.
What kind of music do crystals like? Hard rock.
What is the clinical term that is used for a crystal collecting addiction? A gem-bling addiction.
What did the detective crystal say when its team could not find any evidence for the brutal murder that took place? “Give me a moment, I will dig something up.”
What is it called when someone robs your crystal collection? Crystealing.
What did the grief stricken crystal say to its significant other after realizing that it was not over its feelings? “I crystal love you.”
Why did the diamond stop walking? Because it wanted to try and reduce the carbon footprint.
What is a crystal shop located at the side of a road known as? Crystall.
What is a star made up of crystals known as? Crystars.
What is it known when a crystal becomes a celebrity? Crystar.
How did the crystal collector bless her daughter, who was getting married? By saying, “May the quartz be with you.”
What did the crystal collector say just before streaming Star Wars, the movie? “May the quartz be with you.”

100+ Crystal Puns that Are Actual Gems

Funny Crystal Puns

Crystal Puns

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