99+ Dice Puns to Make the Dice Funny

When a random action is required, such as moving a game piece to a random number of locations on a board, dice are the tools of choice. The majority of dice are cubes with faces printed with the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. Here is a list of dice puns for you. 

Funny Dice Puns

Here is our selection of amusing dice puns. You can tell your friends some obscure dice madden jokes to make you laugh aloud. 

  • Take your time reading any puns where the setup or punchline is a question with answers. We hope you’ll find these puns amusing enough to share and make others laugh.
  • What is left over for a Goonie with three dice after losing two? I have no idea. They won’t tell me.
  • Please help me understand this joke. I requested a joke from Alexa. She then responded: “I once made the mistake of chopping a carrot with a dull knife. No dice, though.”
  • The police searched my home and took algebra, trigonometry, and calculus textbooks, along with dice and other probability-demonstration equipment. They said it was a weaponized math lesson.
  • I was caught cheating in Monopoly by my wife. She misplaced the dice and discovered me picking her sister’s nose.
  • What kind of dice is biased because of preconceived notions? An attitude
  • My grandfather recently left me a vintage set of loaded dice. They were once Al Capone’s property. In other words, we’ve spent the majority of our lives rolling the dice like a mobster.
  • I recently purchased a set of dice, but the 2s, 4s, and 6s are all blanked off. They are pretty strange.
  • Tommy purchased a set of three dice. One was gotten rid of. Why? Because he desired to perish.
  • Why do dice always want to be thrown in pairs? Because there are two dice.
  • Have you heard the story of the man who was killed by being thrown dice? Yes, according to the police reports, he died naturally.
  • After they pass away, where do gambling gangsters go? To the dice game used by gangsters.
  • My friend was shocked to see that all five of his bodyguards had their manhoods muted, while Anderee had not even a single bruise. The king approached Anderee and gave the order to kill all of his bodyguards with dice.
  • One night, a blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit. Her turn had come. She chose Science & Nature after rolling the dice. If someone shouts your name when you’re in a vacuum, can you hear them? That was her query. Is it on or off? she questioned after giving it some thought.
  • A blonde once went to a pub, and while she was waiting for her drink, she saw two men playing dice. She travels there to investigate. They just called out a number and rolled a die; if the number came up, they won. She expressed curiosity about trying it out and requested if she may. 
  • Today, we had planned to play D&D all day, but… no dice.
  • Sometimes, all I want is to pass away. It has a dicey tone to it.
  • Have you heard the story of the man who was killed by being thrown dice? Yes, according to the police records, he died naturally.
  • I have a gambling issue, according to my psychologist. I inquired, “Doctor, is there a cure?” She said, “No dice!”
  • How did Eddie Money and his companion enter the backgammon competition? There are two tickets and two dice.
  • Battlefront 2’s microtransactions from EA are getting on my nerves. I suppose an old habit never DICE.
  • The German government, like Authorities in Germany, searched locations where people were playing dice games. They are exerting every effort to thwart the Yahtzee Party’s reconstruction.
  • How do you gamble while you’re on vacation? Pair-a-dice!
  • Everything went smoothly until we arrived at the Barcelona airport around midnight. At last, the guard, “Look, friend, for Christ’s sake, just give me all the metal you’ve got,” he says, becoming irritated. And the man says WAAAAAAH* (strike a high note/growl/whatever suits your voice best for as long as you can, make the dice sign with your hands in the air, fall to your knees, commitment is crucial). He then re-ran the process, and everything was good with dice. 
  • The eldest of the three guys leaped off the front of the ship in a rage while they were playing dice on the deck of a ship. You killed my father, the younger guy remarked. Get two dice ready.
  • My brother responded to this message by asking, “Was his name Inyougo?”
  • How would a dice react if it fell over a cliff? It rolls.
  • My dice were accidentally eaten. I’m now waiting for crap.
  • Yesterday, I misplaced two dice. The dice pair lost.
  • The guy ate the dice, but why? He wished to experience paradice.

Hilarious Dice Puns

A fun dice game to add some energy to your adult party. To make the best hand, roll the dice, then either crack a pun or win a smoke. Take your dice to your neighborhood bar or game night and play by the simple rules. Pass the dice to the following player once you have constructed your best hand. Simple rules are a lot of fun!

  • What kind of board games do the Coldplay members use? Three dice, three dice, three dice. 
  • Do not invite Satan around to play board games because the last time I did, he stole the Monopoly dice. I’ve now misplaced a pair of dice. 
  • I’ve spent the majority of my life in Al Capone’s movers and shakers. I mean, I’ve basically lived inside a gangster’s pair of dice my entire life. Joke aside, I’ve spent the majority of my life in Al Capone’s circles. 
  • How could the gambler have believed he was in heaven? He located his set of dice!
  • Coldplay shouldn’t be your partner when playing board games because they won’t ever roll the PAIR’O PAIR’O PAIR’O DICE. 
  • Why is it that Coolio can always play craps? He has a pair of gangsta dice. 
  • Yesterday, I downloaded Sandstorm Simulator 2016. You can use gas masks while riding horses. Really surpassing themselves, DICE.  
  • What are my chances of finding love? Well… I alter the chances so that they resemble 1 in 6 rolls of loaded dice. 
  • Playing craps won’t make you rich. Just a fool’s pair of dice, really. 
  • Which dice game is the godfather’s favorite? Yahtzee, Luca
  • Dice are not necessary! When you’re playing a role… 
  • When they turn seven, I give my kids three dice. I explained that it develops character. 
  • A pretty blonde approaches the two casino dealers at the craps table and says: “I want to place a $20,000 wager on a single dice throw. However, if it’s okay, I’d feel much luckier if I was completely naked.” 
  • Clerk: “Die” is the appropriate word. Me: I wish to perish. Clerk: The singular is dice, and the plural is die. Me: I want to die by myself. 
  • Why was the gambler so motivated to enter heaven? He was informed that it was two dice. 
  • Why would someone stuff a bunch of dice up their nose with the alphabet’s letters written on them? It’s astounding! 
  • What dice game is Hitler’s favorite? Nahtzee.
  • Tommy purchased a set of three dice. One was gotten rid of. Why? Because he desired to perish. 
  • “Paradise” was the song that my friend was listening to. That must be a beautiful set of dice, she remarked.  
  • A chessboard, a diamond ace, a dice, a bunch of bananas, two condoms, and a set of kitchen knives are required for the new game I invented for two players. Participants must improvise. 
  • Which player has lost the least after two hours will be revealed when the host opens an envelope with the regulations, DICE. 
  • I recently purchased a number of dice, but they are all weird. I really have no words.
  • What does the addicted, suicidal gambler do in his free time? Craps at home. 
  • What is the preferred dice game in Germany? NahtZee.
  • What occurs when every gambler has their own gambling device? Everybody rolls. 
  • Today in carpentry class, one of my friends created a cube. I asked him to add some dots, but he was unsuccessful.
  • I’m a person of strength. Every time I want to go out drinking, I throw a die; if I don’t get a 6, I’m not allowed to. 
  • Last night, I had to throw eight times before I was able to leave. The dice have been cast. 
  • Hitler was taking a trip around one of the concentration camps when he came across some Jews having some fun with dice. If you roll a number between 1 and 5, you will die, he said as he approached them. Jews: “And if we roll a 6, what happens?” You get to roll the die again, Hitler said with a smile. 
  • We were playing Monopoly when my wife caught me cheating. When she dropped the dice, her sister caught my finger.
  • Imagine you’re playing chess rather than crap if you’re worried about your new partner’s sexual history and don’t want to pick up genital warts. So don’t take a chance. Check before you, mate. No DICE, no admission. 

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