95+ Engagement Puns to Make the Engagement Hilarious 

The exchanging of rings between two soulmates marks the culmination of the custom of proposing marriage. Through the ages, there have always been various symbolic representations of engagement ceremonies. The cavemen made their proposal by braiding grass strands and tying them around the woman’s neck, ankle, or leg.

Funny Engagement Puns

Some girls dream of receiving a romantic marriage proposal in Paris or of staying in a luxurious hotel room decorated with rose petals and champagne. Nothing tops inventive and humorous methods to propose to a woman, even though they may sound like cliche romantic gestures. We’ll reminisce about some hilarious engagement jokes that will have you laughing aloud.

  • Never tie the knot early since you never know who you’ll run into that evening. 
  • The four words “I’ll do the dishes” are crucial for a happy marriage. 
  • The husband works in the marriage like a workshop, and the wife shops. 
  • Why do married individuals outlive those who are not married? I believe this is the case because married people make an extra effort to outlive their spouse in order to have the final say. 
  • Never attempt to impress a woman because she will expect you to uphold the standard for the rest of your life.
  • In a car accident, a couple is slain as they are returning from their engagement photo shoot. 
  • St. Peter is waiting to admit them to Heaven when they find themselves at the Pearly Gates. The lady addresses St. Peter before they enter, asking, “St. Peter, we were intending to get married in a few months. Is there any way we may get married in Heaven, so we can spend the rest of eternity together?” 
  • The hipster’s method for declining a love proposal is what? He claimed to be hired for the function. I enquired about her preferences for an engagement ring. One that’s a little bit like you, she remarked. “Sparkling full?” She answered, “Cheap and round.”
  • Relationships progress through four rings. The “Friendship” ring is the first to appear when dating is exclusive but there is no longer a commitment. The engagement ring comes in second when a couple is so deeply in love that they wish to wed. The wedding ring, which is worn when two people pledge their undying love for one another in front of their friends, comes in third. Finally, the Suffering comes in at number four. begins roughly one year after Step 3. 
  • On Valentine’s Day, if I were a restaurant employee, I would place a phoney engagement ring in each girl’s drink.
  • Western humor Years ago, I heard… Ohio state officials are working to enact legislation that will rename the town Engagement instead of Mechanicsburg. One official responded when asked why, saying that it made perfect sense because the town is situated midway between Dayton and Marion.
  • After a lengthy absence, two buddies reunite. And start reminiscing about the past. Friend 1: “Hey, from what I understand, your engagement failed. Man, what happened? Second friend: “Well, that was her choice. I was told she doesn’t think I’m good enough. I’m so sorry to hear that, first friend. But guess what? You ought to have explained to her how your incredibly wealthy father would leave his wealth to you. 2nd Friend: “I did. She is now my mother. 
  • A man contemplates how much money to spend on an engagement ring before going ring shopping and selecting a ring. The proprietor observes the young man’s anxious demeanor and assures him that he can always upgrade. You perform plastic surgery here too, he inquires, seeming perplexed.
  • How were my engagement and divorce similar? I gave in in the end. 
  • Yesterday, a customer told me this… The marriage ring comes after the engagement ring, but no one ever explained what happens next. the distress. 
  • What do a child molester and an engagement ring have in common? Both of them arrive in a tiny box.
  • Last night, my dog ate my engagement ring but fortunately coughed it up when he yelled. The ruff contained a diamond. 
  • My upcoming arranged marriage prevents me from marrying my fiancée; this was an earlier-than-expected engagement. 
  • An army officer must be familiar with the rules of engagement before getting married.
  • I eventually understood that I couldn’t survive without myself after all these years, so I made the decision to buy myself an engagement ring. 
  • Why are you rushing when you’re having makeout with your overweight fiancée on top? An urgent interaction and engagement exists.
  • A grave robber or a necrophile—who is worse? The deceased give one cold-blooded engagement ring, and the other receives ailments as a result of their engagement. 
  • Who the hell said it was an engagement ring? Rather than calling it a Kneel Diamond? 
  • My Grandpa and I were discussing how I should approach my girlfriend. He questioned me about my plans for the three rings I would receive. Confused, I enquired as to his meaning of three. He said, “First the engagement ring, next the wedding ring, then the pain.” 
  • Retaliation by a soldier when his SO split up; when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and request her picture back, the soldier deployed in Afghanistan was irritated and outraged. He went out and gathered from his friends any undesired pictures of ladies he could find. He then packaged them all up and sent them back with a note that read, Please retain your photo and give the others back; I’m sorry, but I can’t remember which one is you. 
  • OJ Simpson’s marriage included three rings. They started with the engagement ring. The wedding ring followed that. Then bidding adieu was the last thing, though.
  • I had a prior engagement, which is why I arrived late to my own wedding. 
  • Why purchase an iPhone X? Buy an engagement ring instead of spending that much money on something that will be outdated in three years. 
  • Facebook is doing away with engagement-bait posts. Guess I’m out of luck for phishing now.
  • Where did little Toby go to get his ring? He visited Jareth! 
  • Elegant women are like turtles. Even though they don’t do it often, when they do, they stay there for a very long period. I heard this while watching a Rules of Engagement repeat.
  • When I questioned the court on why I was required to accompany a man to a social event, they claimed that I was mandated.
  • Guy presents a ring to his girlfriend. She slaps him in the face after placing it on her finger. He was struck by au.
  • Did you hear that the engagement of two university geologists ended? A: The connection was difficult right away.
  • I inquired about the type of engagement ring my spouse might want. One that’s somewhat similar to you, she said. “Filled with sparkle?” Cheap and circular, she said.
  • Purchasing an engagement ring for my girlfriend reminded me of purchasing new truck tires. She may look the same, but she rode considerably better after that. 
  • Honey? I was hurt by your engagement ring! My watch, not my ring, is what you see. 
  • Where do retards purchase their wedding bands? K Special.

Funny Engagement Jokes

Engagements can be fun, too, if you try to make your woman laugh. Well, we have covered the collection of such witty engagement jokes that will leave you speechless. Also, it will tell you how it really feels to be engaged. 

  • [Have you heard? The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and The Silmarillion copies are regarded as unique when bought, sold, and traded. These Tolkien people are Non-Fungible. 
  • Lord of the Rings must be a favorite among my university lecturers. They always say, “You shall not pass,” whenever I ask them about my grades.
  • I informed my girlfriend, “I got you a ring for when we get married.” She questioned in an instant, “How much did that cost? “£300,” I said. She yelled, “£300?!” You claimed you would spend a month’s salary! I didn’t indicate that it would be “my month’s salary.” 
  • Last night, my dog ate my engagement ring but fortunately coughed it up when he yelled. The ruff contained a diamond.
  • What does the wedding ring’s date signify? Best by date. 
  • I surrendered my name, wallet, car, house, and even my wedding band to a homeless man today. In a sense, we exchanged positions. You can’t even begin to fathom how fantastic it was to be debt-free for the first time.
  • Wedding rings resemble The One Ring in many ways. After getting it, none of your pals will ever see you again. 
  • A woman observed that a friend of hers had her wedding ring on the incorrect finger. A woman asked her friend, “Why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” after noticing she had her wedding band on the incorrect finger. I married the wrong man, my friend retorted. 
  • While shopping, I noticed the most stunning busty blonde selecting Asian dishes three freezers down. I quickly glanced at her hand, but there was no sign of a wedding band! As you may expect, I immediately did what any virulent, red-blooded.
  • What a man would do with this chance… I became quite tense, said nothing, and made sure to avoid making eye contact at all costs.
  • One day, the instructor posed the following question to the class: “If I hurled a rock at the nine birds perched on the fence and killed four of them. How many birds would still be around? All but one student in the class correctly answers five. No, Ms. Brown, he responds. The others would fly away, leaving 0 in their place. Impressed, the teacher comments, “I admire your… The wedding ring saw some use. 
  • This past Friday night, a handsome, much younger woman accompanied a balding, white-haired male as he entered a jewelry store. He disclosed to the jeweler his search for a unique ring for his lover. 
  • The jeweler pulled out a $5,000 ring after searching through his inventory.
  • Experiencing nostalgia, When we first got married, my wife was so devoted to me that she always removed her wedding band before going out with her friends to prevent losing it. 
  • When the teacher calls his name, Dirty Little Matt is in the back of the arithmetic class, clearly not paying attention. Yes, teach, he responds. 
  • The teacher inquires, “How many ducks are left if you shoot one of them with a shotgun if there are three ducks on a fence?”
  • How much is this torture gadget, a man asks the proprietor of a strange new shop? That’s a wedding ring, the owner responds.
  • Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched the reverse of my wedding film. After giving her back to her father, I removed her wedding ring and moonwalked my way out of the chapel.
  • A man’s wife is abducted. He receives a ransom package one week later. An earpiece and a wedding band with a finger still attached were inside, along with a message requesting $10,000. Please send further proof, he replies. 
  • Every time she goes to a bar by herself, my wife is extremely thoughtful and gives me her wedding ring so I may think about her all night.
  • I purchased a fake diamond engagement ring in order to pop the question to my fiancée on St. Patrick’s Day. I only hope that she won’t detect the fake rock. 
  • My girlfriend ducked out of the way as I flung an engagement ring her way. A Mrs. who was nearby. 
  • My friend claimed that the engagement ring he purchased for his girlfriend is excessively large. I responded, “That’s harsh. I believe she has a wonderful body.”
  • I adorned her engagement ring with LEDs. When I suggested that we buy an engagement ring with my dad, her face lighted up. 
  • He asks, “Do you have a photo of the ring you desire,” as he prepares to depart. Yes, right here on my phone, I said. Dad: “You are some person, buying her a fake ring. 
  • The sound of guitars, maracas, and lulling Spanish singing could be dimly heard when Archie’s fiancée placed her engagement ring next to her ear. A marry Archie band played.
  • I saw some adolescents wandering around with their phones out as my fiance and I were playing Pokemon. Hey, I need to locate my friend Amal “Can you place him? He is a tall Pakistani man. No chance of missing him.” I’m sorry, but no. I must, regrettably, catch Amal. My fiancee came close to throwing her ring at me for that one.
  • When a man and woman get married, they merge into one. When they try to choose one, trouble begins. Grooms, once you’re engaged, keep in mind that you should constantly say, “Yes, dear,” at the end of every sentence you have with your wife. 
  • Despite having four children, my wife is still able to fit into her high school prom dress. I’ve never given birth, yet my jeans no longer fit since March. 
  • Engagement is similar to dining out. When you see what the other person has ordered instead of what you wanted, you wish you had ordered it.
  • We can understand a newlywed man’s expression of happiness. We question why a man who has been married for ten years appears pleased. 
  • Engagement is the alarm clock, and love is one long, lovely dream. 
  • Why do husbands remind me of a lawnmower? They take a long time to start, smell bad, and only function half the time! 
  • Keep your eyes wide open before getting married and half-closed later. 
  • When her images failed to appear, what did Cinderella say? My prints will appear eventually! 
  • What is the bigamy penalty? A pair of in-law mothers.
  • I must let you know that I had a fairly stressful night and that I still feel a little frail. Therefore, even if it might be tempting, please spare a thought and try to refrain from cheering and yelling excessively during my speech. I would have thought that I would have known better than to go out drinking early on the morning of a large wedding, but I don’t like to watch the groom drinking by himself. 
  • In the enormous store, a man approached a very attractive woman and said, “You know, I lost my wife here. Please speak with me for a few minutes. “Why?” “Because every time I speak to a gorgeous woman, my wife just materializes.”
  • Let’s take a moment of silence before I begin, ladies and gentlemen, to honor the sacrifices made by the 3,000 prawns, 200 chickens, innumerable carnations, delphiniums, lilies, and roses that made this wedding celebration possible. 
  •  If I get home by nine, my wife says I can join your gang. 
  • If you just pay attention, I’ll make the next 45 minutes seem like the shortest of your life while I tell you about this pair. 
  • My wife gave me another season of work. 
  • While there are always shocks in a marriage, most of them include asking one another, “Do you have to do it right now?”

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