We promise all the germaphobes out here. Although farts sound disgusting and disturbing, we’re pretty sure these fart puns and jokes will not disappoint you. Take a look at these fart puns, and let them blow you away!
Funny Fart puns
Puns are a play on words, but when done on subjects that are slightly on the funnier side, it gets hilarious. Yeah, maybe farts stink, but eye swears these fart puns are the cornea and maybe a little cheesy. So let’s cut the cheese and dive into a range of fart puns that will blow you away!
My fart rate increases the minute I see you.
I was not doing my homework properly, so my tutor told me to fart from scratch.
He was a man holding a golden fart for doing so much for the country.
My uncle suffered a fart failure, and he isn’t doing well.
My uncle suffered a fart attack, and he isn’t doing well.
The doctors suspected a fart cancer, and he didn’t have much time left.
The fart specialist says he will be fine but needs a lot of rest before he can walk again.
Sun Tzu’s Fart of War is my favorite book.
I wore my fart on my sleeve, but what good did it do?
I was an open book with a tell-tale fart.
My uncle has a fart disease so he has a lot of trouble climbing up the stairs.
He was awarded the purple fart for fighting for a noble cause.
The human fart is a tough one but must be handled carefully.
He was grief-stricken with a broken fart.
Jack and Rose were at the fart of the ocean when Rose promised her lover that she will live for him.
At times like this, one should listen to their fart.
It is a fit of the fart, to crave what you cannot have.
“My fart-felt wishes to you on your 26th birthday,” Harrie said to Sarah.
I would love to have Indian food for dinner butt my stomach won’t allow it.
Love is similar to a fart. If one has to force it, it is probably just crap.
Fart puns and jokes are funny no doubt, but eye jokes are cornea.
Let’s get ready to fart-y!
He suffered a fart attack because he laughed a lot before getting a stroke.
I was fartled to see him come back home, but I was full of gas.
I gas we won’t be fartled with loud noises anymore.
I thought I smelled something funny when I entered the circus, then I heard the clown fart.
Oh fart! I sharted.
I farted in my Math class and no one found out it was me. I think it was a lucky gas.
When the gardener farted, it was green as gas.
If I have beans for dinner, it’ll be funny as a fart in a spacesuit.
Fart puns and jokes get me laughing like it’s funny as a fart in a spacesuit.
He was so gaseous; it felt like he was pissed as a fart.
It’s not funny if people refer to my grandfather as a boring old fart. Yeah, he had a fart attack the other day, but no.
I joined the chorus group at the Sunday church, but it was like going over a fart in church.
He farted in a windstorm the other day and didn’t even realize it because he was busy keeping the roof intact.
I couldn’t do my homework today. I guess my brain is gassy and farted.
Do penguins in the arctic have a Partick?
“O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore Fart thou Romeo?”
Asked Rapunzel to her prince who had diarrhea.
One looks forward to having beans on a Farturday.
The doctor told me I have a fart disease and need a hole in my stomach to let it pass.
There was a big discussion amongst philosophers like HLA Fart and others about the jurisprudence of farts.
If you think about it, farts are romantic, because they kiss you from within the intestines.
I was about to rob the store, but I was caught in the fart.
I wasn’t fart enough to pass the exam.
I borrowed an oversized t-shirt from my brother’s wardrobe without his consent, so I had to fart it over to him.
“My fart weeps when you are gone,” she said to the pack of beans.
No one could figure out why the Butt Band stopped performing their ridiculous act. I guess they stunk.
The Butt Band performed every Farturday but never got an audience because they stunk.
He accidentally farted in the road, but people thought it was a breezer.
A hart in dart and beans in the belly makes a man happy, smelly, and filthy.
The horse and cart was so smelly, they chose to stop feeding bad hay to the horses.
The air seems foist; I think it might rain soon.
I fried samosas in the pan, and it fizzled.
They didn’t let me have pizza because I keep dropping my lunch box.
I went to the fruits and vegetables shop but I couldn’t afford another orange banana.
I thought the air was foist, but then I heard a Bronx Cheer.
I felt breezy inside so I was compelled to cut the cheese
A fart is just like how success feels. People don’t feel good about it when it’s not theirs.
The motivational speakers preach that happiness comes from within. So do farts.
There was a sudden loud noise that came from the time machine kept inside the museum but no one knew it was a fart from the past.
Fart puns stink but eye jokes aren’t eye jokes cornea?
“I would give up my fart for you,” said Harrie to Sarah while on one knee.
Can a fart be a missed call from nature if nature’s call is going to the loo?
People might need to leave Harrie’s room because he has diarrhea and he just delivered a fartogram.
The fartogram tells me I should get checked up for a fart disease or perhaps diarrhea.
I asked my friend who was suffering from diarrhea how he was, and he said he was fartastic.
Have a fartastic Faturday.
“Have a fartastic Farter’s Day!” said the beans to the stomach.
It is definitely a fartastic day to cut the cheese and let loose.
The Poo Fighters saved the day from smelly pants once again!
I couldn’t describe the sound of the song that came from beneath so I checked Fartify.
When my dad got to know about the amount of breeze inside him it was fartifying.
The Windy Woman blew the monsters away and saved the country once again.
My brother was racing his car while farting. I guess that’s a version of Fart and Furious.
Harrie was scared of going out in the weekend because he had diarrhea and a bad case of fartigo.
Fartology says, when one farts in a symphony, they might just replace the piano.
The two farts were inflatulated with each other.
The blind skunk got inflatulated to a smelly fart and fell in love.
Everyone made fun of him because he was fart and ugly.
According to the fartogram I received, I shouldn’t have had beans for dinner.
I couldn’t find the Windy Woman anywhere, but I found her FartBook and Instafart. She blows me away.
He had a degree in painting and a successful fartist.
During a magic show, I asked my friend to choose a card and the stars told me it was the Queen of Farts.
Power might be measured in Watts, but horsepower is measured in Farts!
I finally found the best medicine for a fart disease, but he already de-farted to Bangalore.
Some raspberry farts and beans for dinner will be the best meal for Farturday.
Comedy Fart Puns
Are you holding still? Because here comes another list of fart puns, ranging from the Queen of Grape Britain to famous singers like Britney Spears, oh the pun.
What did Rose say to Jack when the Titanic crashed? “My fart will go on and on.”
What did the literature lover say when she couldn’t find her favorite novel?
“O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore Fart thou Romeo?”
What did Harrie say to his crush?
“My fart weeps when you are gone.”
What did Harrie say to his crush?
“My fart aches when you are gone.”
What did Harrie say to his crush?
“My fart rate increases the minute I see you.”
What did Harrie say to his crush?
“My fart skips a beat or two whenever it sees you.”
What did Harrie say to his crush?
“I would give up my fart for you.”
What did Harrie say to his crush?
“I am inflatulated with you.”
What did the forest officials say when they were interrogated about the forest fire?
“We didn’t fart the fire.”
What is a group of people who make music with farts known as?
The Butt Band.
Why did she stop telling fart puns and jokes to everyone?
Because they stink.
What does one get when the Queen of England farts?
A noble gas.
Why was the skeleton shy of farting in front of his friends?
Because it didn’t have any guts.
What is it called if a dinosaur farts?
A blast from the past.
What happens if someone farts in a time machine?
You hear a blast from the past.
Why should one refrain from farting in an elevator?
Because it is wrong on many levels.
Why does no one like fart puns?
Because they stink.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the chicken that was next to her farted.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to fart in private.
What is a person who farts in private called?
A private tooter.
What is a fart’s favorite cartoon to watch?
The Rocket Power.
Why did the Butt Band stop performing?
Because they sounded like crap.
When do you know a clown has farted?
When it starts smelling funny.
What did Britney Spears say after she farted?
“Oops, I did it again.”
Why does it always smell funny in a circus?
Because everyone, including clows fart.
What does the butt say to the human when it has to poop? “
”Gas Who”
Why are monkeys always distressed?
Because no one gives a monkey’s fart.
What did Sarah say when they found out it was she who farted? “
It was just a bottom burp.”
If you want to see more of the Funniest puns, check Poop Puns, and don’t miss out on the list of Bath Puns.
What do birds sound like?
A one cheek squeak.
What did one butt cheek so to the other? “
I would say bye to you, but you would blow me away.”
What is it called when a butt cheek falls asleep and farts?
A butt cheek’s snore.
What do you get if you fart in a bank?
Gas money.
Why does poop keep getting rejected by the fart?
Because it always blows it away.
What did a constipated Harrie’s brother tell him on a road trip when he couldn’t find a restroom?
“The restroom is too far-t.”
What did one bean say to another on Father’s Day?
“Happy Farter’s Day!”
What do you call a father figure who is suffering from a fart disease?
Farter.
What is the name of a Russian military who has a fart disease?
Fartinsky.
What is common between a skunk and a fart?
Both of them smell.
What did a person suffering from diarrhea say after a whole week?
“It has been a whole reek!”
What is a butt cheek’s favorite brand of cheese?
It is a tie between Squeeze cheese and Cheeser.
What is a butt cheek’s favorite snack?
A raspberry tart.
What was the name of the Fart Master from England?
D’Oyley Carte.
Why did the hunters return sad?
Because they didn’t shoot a deer but just bunnies and ringbark.
Why was the air foist?
Because Harrie had diarrhea.
Why was the clown so scary?
Because it would Bronx Cheer and scare the crap out of germaphobes.
Why do butt cheeks always lie?
Because prat whids.
What treat did the sofa hate?
Air biscuits.
What is a brain fart?
A fart that blows you out of the classroom.
What store do farts like to go to for buying air freshener?
Walfart.
Who was the windy philosopher?
Rene DesFartes.
Who were the heroes of the butt cheeks?
The Fartastic Four.
What did Shakespeare say about the foist air?
“He who smelt it, dealt it.”
What did Christina Perri say when someone accidentally farted in the room? “Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years, I’ll love you for a thousand more.”
What did Enrique Iglesias teach us about farts?
“It hit me like a heart attack when you finally left me, girl; I thought I’d never want you back, but I don’t wanna live in a world without you.”
How did the butt cheek say goodbye to the other butt cheek?
By saying, “I guess it’s time for us to fart.”
What did Harrie tell Sarah when they visited the funny smelling room?
“It farts to get worse.”
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