65+ Knot Puns to Make Your Knot Tight and Hilarious

A good comedy should have a happy marriage as its happy ending. The best contribution you can make to any knot ceremony, whether you are the bride or groom, a best man or maid of honor, or simply the type of friend or relative who can’t resist the chance to speak your heart and mind (that is, while intoxicated), is a well-rehearsed wedding speech that is light, fun, and optimistic. 

Leave the worn-out puns about domineering women or unfaithful husbands at the door and focus instead on the one type of humor that all wedding guests can appreciate: stupid, stupid puns.

Funny Knot Puns

This list of amusing knot puns has it all, from sayings about knots that are delightfully true that all ladies will understand to puns that are ideal for a toast or speech while tying a knot. 

These humorous remarks and puns about knots may make fun of your marital status, but they’re simply intended to be amusing since they also highlight the occasionally difficult nature of knots.

How do ants knot their ties? A great deal of talent and practice, as well as the right mix of tie knots that allow the tie to be securely fastened around the neck. It’s a joke about ants. 

A knot joke I was attempting to make a pun on knots if one is an expert at them. But I was unable to complete it. 

  • What specific knots can only be found in space? Astro-knots.
  • How are things fastened on the orbital base? Astro knots are employed. 
  • What do you call a vintage comb that has been passed down through the generations for use in braiding, bundling, and creating Celtic knots?
  • Recently, a scout friend of mine passed away. He died doing what he loved. Creating knots. 
  • An adolescent enters a girl scout meeting. They are being taught how to tie various kinds of knots. Can I join you? The girl asks.”Can you knot?” they reply. 
  • To see who could tie the most knots with a piece of rope, two fishermen competed. They ultimately tied. 
  • Do you know why miles aren’t used in the ocean, only knots? since they must maintain the ocean tide? 
  • A man who could untie any knot once lived. He was referred to as the • If not holes, what are they? Asks Miss 4. 
  • I wasn’t married until I was 38, and I’m useless with shoelaces. I haven’t completed this format yet. 
  • The rope enters the bar. Sorry, we don’t serve ropes here, the bartender says. Rope exits the pub, trips over himself, ties himself up, and enters again. The bartender enquired as to if he was a rope. I’m a tattered knot, responds the rope. 
  • Where did knots come from? Tie-land.
  • I’m thinking of knot patterns in the shapes of alphabetic letters. Simply because Y knot? A wood plank with a knot in it 
  • Two del’s eyes are knotted together. Eats during the end of the funeral eyes like veal ass leap.
  • My coworker questioned my ability to tie knots. I’ve been married three times; does that count?
  • My pal enters my room and begins to tangle my charging cable. I answer without thinking, “You know, that’s a knot in a cord with what most people term good manners,” without hesitating. 
  • There were several knots at the restaurant, but only one ate. Exactly who ate dinner? Eighth figure.
  • When someone tells me the joke, “I’m a frayed knot,” I never know how to respond. I’m completely speechless. That’s unfortunate because it takes two to tango. 
  • I once attempted to tie a fancy knot in my necktie, but it failed so miserably that I lost my mind and called upon a Great Old One. I never imagined that I would create an Eldredge Abomination.

Knot Puns

These 65+ humorous marriages (Indicates tying the knot) puns, quotes, and goofy sayings make fun of one of life’s greatest adventures, so whether you’re looking for clean marriage puns, the best marriage puns to share during a wedding speech, or you want to include a few puns about marriage in your wife’s anniversary card. We have it all. Enjoy!

  • How did the executioner discover how to tie a knot? Observing the noose. 
  • My cat consumed some yarn today, and we’re all concerned he might become ill. His stomach is churning. 
  • I purchased a book about knots. I had hoped for an audiobook, but it seemed like all the narrators were having trouble speaking. 
  • A manual on knots, why don’t blonde girls enjoy eating pretzels? Thus they become irate while attempting to untie the knots before devouring them. 
  • I was discussing sailing with a friend when he claimed that today’s wind speed will be 15 knots. I retorted it would likely be plenty to tie a boat down. 
  • What flowers do people with Alzheimer’s detest putting into knots? Forget-me-nots 
  • Why do doctors desire to get married? Just because they enjoy making knots. 
  • The current style is influenced by the past… Samurai top knots and Jesus slippers 
  • One time I was so anxious I ate a lengthy piece of rope, which left my stomach in knots for the rest of the day. 
  • Man buns are top knots, so I don’t see why people dislike them.
  • If I had to choose between a rope with knots in it and some parallel planks with separated rungs in order to climb something, I would choose the latter.  
  • How does the passive-aggressive Archer tie knots? Crossbows.
  • When I entered the shop, the cashier was wearing a blouse with a figure. On it are eight knots printed… “That’s a very knotted shirt you have on,” I said to her. The expression on her face and my son’s cries of “Dad!” were both classic. I just made a point at the clothing.
  • Have you heard about the knotting competition? They bonded.  
  • What do you call a vintage comb that has been passed down through the generations for use in braiding, bundling, and creating Celtic knots? 
  • I recently learned that a running knot is frequently used in suicide by rope. I think that’s a noose. 
  • What is an impenetrable knot? A space (naut) 
  • I just finished watching a knot-making documentary, and it was excellent! Especially that twist towards the finish. 
  • Just now, my girlfriend and I had come out. What name should we give the kid if I become pregnant? She inquired. 
  • I tied a knot in my condom after removing it and flushed it.
  • We’ll call him Houdini if he can escape from that, I responded. 
  • Three ropes decide they’re thirsty and hang out outside a bar. The first person enters, exits, and declares, “They don’t serve ropes here.” Says second rope, “Huh! I’ll try. He enters and says, “Nope,” when he emerges a minute later. They certainly don’t
  • What do you name a Mayan snake god tied in a knot in the Aztec culture? Pretzalcoatl 
  • Can zombies practice yoga? Corpse knot, beware! 
  • Why Knot? Was the question that the inventor of velcro shoes asked himself. This one was invented by my daughter. 
  • Why is my hair so expensive? Since I recently brushed it, there are no knots in it!  
  • When my kid asked me to braid her hair, the outcome was a parentally inappropriate knot.

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