100+ Onion Puns that Will Make You Have Teary Eyes out Of Joy

We are aware that onions contain anti-inflammatory, triglyceride-cutting, cholesterol-lowering antioxidants and compounds, all of which may lessen the risk of heart disease. It can control heart diseases not only with its nutrients but also by being a fantastic source to produce puns from them. So make sure you take a break and read these tremendous onion puns.

Funny Onion Puns

Although onions make you cry, they also provide a great subject for a joke. Suppose it makes you a little teary. Don’t worry; we’ve covered you with this exhaustive list of onion jokes and puns. Delivering these jokes as an onion would, but be cautious not to make anyone cry. So peel your way through these onion puns without further ado!

I chopped the onion into the shape of a die, which surprised my wife. I next diced the onions according to the directions.

The onion husband and wife got into an argument, and she told him he shouldn’t have shown all of his layers because it made her cry.

When the onion band covered Shakira’s song Waka Waka, they began calling it ‘Walla Walla.’

Yesterday, I bought a packet of onions at the grocery. But, unfortunately, all of them had vanished by today. This is likely the reason the dealer discouraged me from purchasing Bermuda onions.

The Bee Gees composed a song about onions because they were so fond of them. Cherries Talking. They called it.

The Jewish onion said ‘Shallot’ to his uncle at the bar mitzvah ceremony.

According to the old and wise onion, life is identical to onions. We grieve as we pull away our protecting layers.

Onions dominated the planet thousands of years ago. But unfortunately, only a few vestiges of its unique culture from the old civilization exist.

One monarch was leek-ing blood, which put it at a disadvantage during the conflict.

Onions have gone through a long evolutionary process. From onionderthals, they evolved into today’s onions.

The onion teacher was instructing her students on the figure of speech. She was teaching onionomatopia today.

When the other vegetables were near the onion, they all felt quite emotional.

When I was in Australia the previous year, I met this sweet and friendly onion. The Australia supa-sweet onion was its moniker.

My biology lesson continued, and I was caught in the midst. You know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.

While many other crops grow above ground, onions grow underground. This is because they have numerous lairs.

My friend believed he was correct when he stated that onions are the only veggies that make people cry. However, he hadn’t yet tried the veggie salad I had prepared for him.

I was opposed to the thought of the government implanting chips into our bodies in the future. Instead, they should include onions and sour cream.

Doctors classified the baby onion’s death shortly after delivery as an o-neonatal death.

I recently heard on the news that the government recalled all current packets of onions owing to a newly discovered fungus problem. Despite the fact that I am a farmer, I did not cry over this.

I requested my fiancee to wed me, and she sobbed. It had to do with the onion ring I used to pop the question to her.

As the onions traversed the street, one of them was hit by a car. I have some news that will make you cry,” the doctor announced to the other onion as soon as he entered the hospital.

I sprang an onion joke on my pal, and he started laughing. So I asked if those were joyful tears.

I’m not sure what occurred, but when I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything felt revived and new! I guess this is a spring onion.

I once came across an onion that had been stored for a long time. It was an onion from Egypt.

I was astounded to hear my green onions’ incredible rapping abilities. It had received the status of being a rapscallion.

Sir Sean Connery, the late actor, was a big lover of the onion because, well, he used to adore them shh-allot.

On my farm, a complete batch of onions developed allergic responses, resulting in chives!

During the cold vegetable war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower, according to the onion teachers in history class.

I noticed an onion ring at a friend’s house. So I took it and replied to it.

The number of onions required for this recipe startled me—it called for a shallot of onions.

“You best behave, you cheeky chops!” said the father onion when the young onion misbehaved.

A bull in the vicinity was constantly vandalizing my farm. I’m guessing it was because I was harvesting Spanish onions.

I recently purchased my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick constructed entirely of spring onions.

On the freeway one day, I noticed a packet of onions and cheese wandering down the road. When I offered them a ride, they declined, claiming to be ‘Walkers.’

I’ve been getting an onion joke in the mail every Sunday for the past few weeks. I’m not sure who sent these. I’m guessing it’s onionymous.

Onions are excellent gymnasts because they can swing on the onion rings.

Onions are excellent psychologists because they allow people to scream their hearts out in front of them.

What is the only method to avoid crying while cutting onions?

They do not have to build emotional attachments to it.

What’s the connection between my wallet and an onion?

I cry every time I open one of them.

Where did all the vegetables decide to open their fighting club?

A ring of onions!

What happens when an onion burps at an inconvenient time?

It emits tear gas.

Why did the farmer decide against purchasing an extra phone?

It was due to the fact that he already had one for onion rings.

What is the connection between your high school grade and an onion?

When you open them, they both prepare you to cry.

How do you describe an onion in its early phases of development?

You say it’s in its onion-ic stage of existence.

Onion Puns

These amusing puns and jokes about onions are so hilarious that they’ll make you cry with laughter. So, could you wake up and read them immediately? What is your take on onion puns? Well, I think they’re fantastic, and I adore shallots. Here’s a small collection of them.

What does an onion say when you are irritated one day because of it?

“I’m sorry I made you weep!” it says.

“They believe an apple a day keeps the doctor away,” she says. “Why stop there?”

He says. “An onion a day keeps everyone away.”

What is the name for a bouncy vegetable?

It’s a spring onion.

What do you name a group of hip-hop-singing young onions?

A gang of rap scumbags.

What’s tiny, white, and frequently laughs in salads?

An onion that’s been tickled.

What kind of lighting do onions use?

Lights made of o-neon.

What movie is an onion’s favorite?

The Lord of the Rings.

Onions, according to my wife, are the only vegetable that makes her cry. As a result, I hurled a pumpkin at her.

When I proposed to my partner, she burst into tears, most likely because I used an onion ring.

I plan to launch a website dedicated to disclosing secret recipes that use veggies from the same family as onion and garlic that are incredibly delicious with potatoes. It will be known as wikileeks.com.

Have you ever seen the movie about the onion that transforms into a spider?

It’s known as Shallot’s Web.

My wife is a terrible cook. She experimented with blending corned chicken, onions, and corn and potatoes.

Have you heard about the nefarious green onion who sung hip hop?

He was a real scumbag.

On the outside, I’m an annoyance, but on the inside, I’m an onion. You tear up when you remove the layers and discover the same thing.

I was cooking a salad the other day when I thought I heard a slight red veggie murmuring, similar to an onion. It had to be a hoarse radish.

I was driving down the road the other day when I noticed two packs of cheese and onion crisps wandering along the route. “Do you want a lift?”

I asked. “No thanks,” they said, “we’re Walkers.”

When dad was unkind to onions, I started crying. Onions were such a lovely dog.

My sister felt she was so clever when she claimed that the only vegetable/fruit that could make her cry was an onion. As a result, I hurled a coconut at her.

What happens when you genetically mutate a donkey and an onion?

A slice of ass that will make you cry.

Some people claim to cry when they cut onions. I’ve discovered that the key to not calling is to avoid forming an emotional link with them.

Have you heard the tale about the man who chopped onion with the Grim Reaper?

He was on the verge of death.

What do you name the welcome of a Korean ham and onion? “Yo,” says the onion-ham.

My doctor suggested leaving a peeled onion on the table to get rid of the Covid in the room. I believe he should take a more modern approach to medicine.

People are similar to onions. They make me cry, but they smell delicious when they cook.

I used to sell raw onions. Until I received the sack

In the other room, my father is chopping onions, and I’ve been crying all day. Onions was a good puppy, but I’m still looking forward to taco night.

Do you know about the garlic and onion diet? If you eat garlic and onions for a week, you won’t lose much weight, but people will keep their distance from you, making you appear smaller.

Many veggies can be found aboveground. But not onions. Onions have dens.

I thought I heard an onion performing a Bee Gees song. But it crooked out to be a chive talking.

I don’t ever cry when I cut onions, which is a little-known fact about me. 

Your mother is enormous. It is because, with an onion ring, your father proposed to her.

I frequently weep after sex. In my defense, I use a huge onion.

What is the relation between Rihanna and Onion Rings?

They’re both bruised.

My wallet is like an onion. I weep every time I appear at it.

What’s the dissimilarity between an onion and a carrot? When you hack up a carrot, no one sheds a tear.

The method that will prevent you from desperate whenever you chop an onion. Stop being so obsessed with onions.

What is the distinction between a baby and an onion?

When I peel its skin off, it screams.

In what way can you tell if a person is anorexic?

You throw an onion ring at them and see if they eat it or use it as a hula hoop.

Hedgehogs eat what?

Onions with prickles!

What do you name an onion’s more entertaining cousin?


What did Shrek propose to Fiona?

A ring of onions!

Why was Princess Fiona such a horrible basketball player?

Because she was coached by an onion!

A chef requested me to taste the chili and onion balance in a soup. So I threw it over!

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