257+ Terrible Puns That Are Funnier Than You Think They Are!

Some puns and jokes are so terrible that you cannot stop laughing. We bring you a collection of the best terrible puns that can keep you hooked all day long. And if you don’t think that they are the most terrible puns of all time, the joke’s on you!

Funny Terrible Jokes

We can’t help but notice how these terrible puns can be a source of refreshment and humor for us. If you are tired/upset, some of these terrible and funny puns are sure to put a smile on your face!

  • The cow refused to come out and fight with his enemy. All the other cows thought he was a cow-herd!
  • Two tickles will not make an octopus giggle. Ten tickles might.
  • The elephant told something in class that was irrelephant to the subject.
  • Why did the cow make milkshakes? He was very nervous.
  • The chicken refused to go to school because it was Fry-day.
  • I met my cow friends at the moovie theatre.
  • The fish was swimming when something obstructed his way. He said,” Dam!”
  • The crab would never help his friends. He is too shellfish.
  • The duck auditioned for the part of Count Duckula.
  •  The polar bears are busy today because it’s election day at North Poll.
  •  My pet dog wanted to have pizza, so I ordered a Pupperoni for him.
  •  The elephant and the fish started living together. They got plenty of swimming trunks.
  •  The gummy bear never went to the dentist because he had no teeth.
  •  The spider is starting his new business. He plans on having his web-site.
  •  That pig is very skilled at karate. Everyone calls him Pork Chop.
  •  They hired the detective duck because they were sure he could only quack this case.
  • The snake was hungry. I made a pie-thon for him.
  •  Everyone wanted to hear something from the dog. He just had a tale to tell.
  •  The psychiatrist always pees quietly. After all, the ‘pee’ is silent.
  • The leopard was ‘spotted’ in a nearby forest.
  •  With two left feet, that dog can never fulfill his dream of becoming a dancer.
  • That little cat is the best purr-cussion player I know.
  •  It has been raining cats and dogs since morning. I will not go out because I don’t want to step on a poodle.
  • “I’m not a cheetah!” You are lion!”
  •  The cat was injured. I brought the first-aid kit to take care of him.  
  •  The lion was eating something funny. He had just killed a comedian who told terrible puns.
  •  The bartender asked the weasel if he wanted anything. He said,” Pop!”
  • The horse asked for some water because his throat was a bit hoarse.
  • The cow was arrested for his steakout. He spied on other cows.
  • It was at the quick of dawn when the ducks woke up and went to school.
  •  The Llama was a big fan of Alpaca-ino. He’d seen all of his films.
  •   The deer felt something dripping on its forehead. His mother said,” It’s rein-deer!”
  •  The bats in my house are going to a baseball match today.
  • The magician and his pet labracadabrador came up on the stage.
  •   My horse friend was very upset. I asked him,” What’s the matter? Why the long face?”
  • The only way a dog can make both ends meet is if it can chase its tail.
  •  I asked the bee if it was coming to the concert tonight. He said,” May-bee!”
  • Everyone is tired of the squirrel acting like a nut all the time.
  • The lion was doing something fishy. When I asked, he said,” Go away! This is narnia business!”
  • Two dinosaurs are breaking everything in the house. They are just being T-wrecks.
  •   Those two lovebirds are college tweethearts.
  • The Tyrannosaurus always dino-snores when he sleeps.
  • Don’t go into the bathtub. There are robber ducks in it.
  • The teacher said to the giraffe,” Having your head in the clouds will not get you good grades.”
  •  The sleeping bull was run over by a bull-dozer.
  • As soon as the crocodile wore a nice vest, he became an investigator.
  •   The bee combed his hair with a honeycomb. Now, his hair feels sticky.
  • I wanted to have a pet who could also tell me the time. So, I brought home a watchdog.
  • Gorillas have such big fingers. No wonder they also have such big nostrils.
  • My bird thought he was very clever but what he forgot was that toucan play that game.
  •  Our new neigh-bors are a family of horses.
  •  The dalmatian had a great dinner that just hit the spot.
  •  The cow singer crossed the sound limits. Everyone could hear the cowboom.
  •  At the animal bar, if you want to feel less hot, you just have to make the dragon shut its mouth.
  • Even before the chicken, the dinosaur crossed the road.
  •  The ducks are celebrating their victory with champagne and firequackers. 
  •  No other dinosaur is as good with words as the thesaurus is.
  •  The bat was very poor at driving but he is eventually getting the hang of it.
  •  I hit the dog with sandpaper. He said,” Ruff!”
  • I have a centipede and a parrot at home. It’s like having a walkie-talkie.
  •  The sandwich went to have his pictures clicked. The photographer said,” Say cheese!”
  • The cookie was taken to the hospital because he has been feeling crummy since morning.
  • The banana was locked. Only a monkey could open it.
  • I deliberately let the lemon fall so that I could see a lemon drop.
  •  The strawberry was late for the party because he was stuck in a jam.
  • The nut caught a cold. Every time he sneezed, it was like,” Cashew!”
  •   I wanted to pay but my plates said,” Don’t worry. Lunch is on us!”
  • We all supported the blue cheese when it was depressed.
  • I understood the nacho was upset but he refused to taco bout it.
  • The reporter went to an ice cream parlor and said,” Hi! Can I get the scoop?”
  •  Computers are only happy when you serve them computer chips.
  •  My hamburger friend had a baby. They named it Patty.
  •  The baby corn was upset because his popcorn was not at home.
  •  He dropped a hotdog. He said,” This is the wurst day of my life!”
  •  The cookie said to his lover,” Don’t be a wafer for too long!”

Terrible Jokes

Do you want your friends and family to think that you are the best at telling terrible puns that will make them laugh? Then, we suggest you go through some more of these terrible puns that just keep getting funnier!

  •  I don’t know why the clock went back four seconds. Was it hungry?
  •  I ate something loud and crunchy. I guess it was a rocket chip.
  •  The teacher scolded the cake because it was always choco-late.
  •  The butcher works very hard to make ends meat.
  • As I saw the pizza, I had to say,” Have you ever seen sausage a beautiful pizza before?”
  •  The mayonnaise was embarrassed because someone opened the fridge door while it was dressing.
  • The soccer player was upset because his wife brought him a cup of penal-tea in the morning.
  • I met an egg on the road. He said,” Good morning! Have an egg-cellent day!”
  • I made a surprise visit to the Coke’s house. He was soda lighted to see me.
  • It was his fanta-sea to swim in a sea full of orange pulp.
  • Only when I pushed the egg down the hill did I learn to make a good egg roll.
  •  Someone hit him with a cola bottle but he was okay because it was a soft drink.
  • I met the baker at a shop. I asked him,” Do you come here very oven?’
  • He gulped down the question paper because it was just a piece of cake.
  • The banana looked very sick. He said,” I’ve not been peeling well since morning.
  •  The noodles were arrested for being im-pastas.
  • Teddy bears never eat a lot because they are always stuffed.
  • He tried to steal my bowl of cheese. I shouted,” Hey! Nacho cheese!”
  • The oranges only shrewd water to their guests because they ran out of juice.
  •  That pepper is so nosy. It always tries to get jalapeno in others’ business.
  • The Wookie steak was delicious but a bit chewy.
  •  She was going to say hello to the spaghetti but he simply rode pasta.
  • Pickles don’t just go to parties, they simply relish it.
  • That fungus wants to grow and I have decided to give it as mushroom as needed.
  • I think something’s wrong with the brownie. It’s constantly frownie upon everything.
  • I met a pizza at the party. He said,” Hi! Slice to meet you!”
  • The problem with opening a restaurant on the moon is that you will not be able to create a nice atmosphere.
  • The butter tried very hard but the rumor about his relationship spread like wildfire.
  • Be like pickles. They too have so many problems but they never complain, they just dill with it.
  • Our hotdog friend was going to the sea. We had a ‘Bun Voyage’ party for him.
  • There was no one at home but the potatoes saw the entire robbery. They do have great eyes.
  • The bicycle was too tired to do anything.
  • I had to rearrange all the spices on my shelf because my kid dropped everything. What a waste of thyme!
  • The fire that spread around the circus was in tents.
  • Does Anybody want to have the last romaines of this Caesar salad? It’s just some green stuff that’s dead.
  • It’s a pain to play hockey with my pig friend. He keeps hogging the pucks.
  • Harry Potter was too tired to walk. So, we found him J.K. Rolling down the hill.
  • I wonder why the boomerang never came back to me. I guess it was just a stick.
  • “Is the Frenchman busy?” Wii, he’s playing video games.”
  • I couldn’t figure out if it was a Frisbee coming from the opposite side. Then it hit me.
  • I forget where the boomerang lives. It’ll come back to me, I guess.
  • The astronaut refused to drink on the computer because there was no space bar.
  • My drummer friend has two daughters. Anna one and Anna two.
  • The tissue won’t dance. So, he put a little boogie in it.
  • The newspapers say that dogs are chasing people on bikes, causing accidents. It’s ridiculous, dogs don’t have bikes!
  • Ballet dancers are great talkers. They just come to the point.
  • I wanted to take a walk in the fog today but I overslept and mist my chance.
  • The tap dancer hurt himself when he fell into the sink.
  • He’s not addicted to somersaults. That’s just how he rolls.
  • The scientist’s breath was stale, so I gave him some experi-mints.
  • The Mexican counted “Uno…Dos…” and then suddenly, was going without even a tres.
  • Cakes and baseball matches are useless if you don’t have a batter.
  • You hear crosswords when you interrupt someone doing a puzzle.
  • I welcomed them into the library and offered to show them around. They said,” No thanks! We will do that by ourshelves.”
  • My friend got married to a goalie. I must say, he’s truly a keeper.
  • The singer said to me in the morning,” Can you pass me the toothpaste tuba?”
  • Why are you dancing? Because it’s Indepen-dance day!
  • I am starting to like salsa a lot. I can just dip into it.
  • Someone gifted me a steel trunk weeks ago. I steel don’t know why.
  • I wanted to go to a building with hundreds of stories. So, I went to the public library.
  • The nose was angry because the finger had constantly been picking on it.
  • I told some terrible puns to a thief but he didn’t laugh. I guess he had a habit of taking everything literally.
  • The vampire wrote,” Tomb it may concern…..”
  • The pirate realized it takes about a buck an ear to get one’s ears pierced.
  • He works at a clock factory. He had been working extra hours for the past few weeks.
  • I just lava volcanoes. They are so pretty to look at.
  • The doctor was busy and blind. He couldn’t see his patients right now.
  • My robot friend is afraid of nothing. He truly has nerves of steel.
  • The dentist received a little plaque for his extraordinary work.
  • It’s pointless to argue with a circle. They will never get you.
  • The mountain was telling us terrible puns. They were hill-arious as well.
  • The astronaut’s baby was crying. So, the mother decided to rocket.
  • I went to see the baby flower at the hospital. I said,” Hi bud! How are you feeling now?”
  • A witch would never miss spelling class at school.
  • I need to talk to Harry Potter. Something’s Ron with him!

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