150+ Best Theft Puns to Swipe Your Giggles

🚨🤣 Prepare to be amused, because these “Stolen Laughter” theft puns are so good, they should be illegal! From burglar banter to pickpocket puns, we’ve got a hilarious loot bag full of wordplay that’s guaranteed to steal your heart and swipe your giggles. 🎭

💰 So, whether you’re a master of mischief or a fan of funny felonies, you’ll love cracking up at these criminally good jokes.

Just remember to keep an eye on your funny bone – with puns this good, it might just get stolen! 😆🕵️‍♂️

Theft is the crime or action of dishonestly taking someone else’s property or personal goods and keeping it. Send some hilarious and funny theft jokes with your buddies and family to make them giggle for hours. Given below is a list of some humorous and amusing theft puns.

Hilarious Theft Puns

I denied to accept it as a truth that my child got kicked out from his job as a street laborer for theft.

But when I reached my house, all the clues were there.

It is said by me to my wife, “I can’t accept it as truth that our child was thrown out from his employment as a street worker for theft.

My wife responded that the proof was all there.

The cops interrogated me for the theft of a cheese toasty.

Man, I was truly grilled by them.

A cop was inspecting the theft of a suitcase.

The cop found the criminal very quickly so that the case can be known as a very brief case.

One of my companions named Sid was a sufferer of ID theft.

Now he is called Sssss.

What was the strategy to steal music known by the sheet music theft?

He began by taking remarks.

Once my cat followed a hum and took it to me. The owner of the hum blamed me for the theft. It was said by me in my justification that the hum wasn’t looted.

it was purr-chased

The individuals in Southern France certainly concerned about theft.

The individuals of South France own much Toulouse.

Administrations in Louisville, Colorado register the stealing of bathroom appliances in the only cops office in the city.

It is said by the cops that they don’t have anything to continue.

Your deodorant is theft by someone else. You’ve been tricked.

If there are ten chicken nuggets and someone attempts to steal two, how many will you have? 10 chicken nuggets and a lifeless individual.

Why isn’t Uno played with Mexicans by individuals? Because everytime they are accused of the theft of the green cards.

why is the individual who steals is very outstanding at basketball? because the individual can hit, steal, and move.

Why was the DJ prohibited from the large store? Because he was charged for the theft of all the samples.

What was said by Julius when he noticed a lady stealing a costly chandelier? “Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”

When the cops arrested him for the theft of the batteries he got instantly charged.

If a lottery ticket was stolen by you, is it assumed Grand Theft LOTTO?

What was yelled by the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner at the Troll taking his thing without permission? Hey! hand over me my Nickelback!

Last time I was arrested for the theft of a calendar I got 365days.

What would an Asian that was accused for the theft of cars be called? Tommy toke a motor

Why did the cops charge the baseball player? He tried to take away a third.

How would antifreeze be made by you? By stealing her sheet.

lol I continuously take my father’s medication money without his permission and the best thing is he always forgets.

Who would an individual be called that was caught for the theft of his brother’s girlfriend and refused to accept by his full family? Brandon.

why was an AK-47 stolen by the cow? The cow was a mooslim.

An individual was charged for the theft of a bar of soap from a corner shop. The cops assumed that he made a proper escape.

What type of individual will be accused for the theft of Captain Hook hook? A hooker.

Do you know about the individual who was charged for the theft of electricity? The individual was cleared of all charges.

Once my companion was charged by the police for the theft of a window.

but he was framed.

What would an individual be called that arrested for the theft of your heat? A brrrglar.

Two individuals got caught for the theft of fireworks.

One was charged by the police and the police let the other one off.

Why did the thief become a baker? He was great at stealing a piece of the pie! 🥧🕵️‍♂️

What do you call a thief who’s good at math? A crime-eter! 📐🚨

Why did the thief become a comedian? He could steal the show! 😂🎭

What’s a thief’s favorite type of music? Rob ‘n’ roll! 🎸🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a teacher? He could take attendance without anyone noticing! 🍎🚨

What do you call a thief’s favorite candy? Swipe-tarts! 🍬🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a gardener? He loved taking plants for a spin! 🌱🚨

What’s a thief’s favorite type of movie? A steal-mance! 💕🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a dentist? He had a knack for stealing smiles! 😁🚨

What do you call a thief’s favorite game? Grand Theft Otto! 🚗🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a chef? He loved cooking up schemes! 🥘🚨

What’s a thief’s favorite type of dance? The steal-a-rina! 💃🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a writer? He could steal ideas and turn them into best-sellers! 📚🚨

What do you call a thief’s favorite drink? A steal-garita! 🍹🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a doctor? He had a talent for taking temperatures! 🌡️🚨

What’s a thief’s favorite type of party? A steal-ebration! 🎉🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a DJ? He loved stealing the spotlight! 🎧🚨

What do you call a thief’s favorite flower? A rose that’s been stolen! 🌹🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a magician? He could make things disappear! 🎩🚨

What’s a thief’s favorite type of fruit? A sneak-peek! 🍐🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a personal trainer? He loved stealing people’s breath away! 💪🚨

What do you call a thief’s favorite type of pizza? A steal-icious slice! 🍕🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a meteorologist? He could predict when it was raining valuables! ☔🚨

What’s a thief’s favorite type of vacation? A steal-away trip! 🏖️🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a hairdresser? He could steal strands of hair without anyone noticing! 💇‍♀️🚨

What do you call a thief’s favorite sport? Swipe-swimming! 🏊‍♂️🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a fashion designer? He loved stealing the latest trends! 👗🚨

What’s a thief’s favorite type of cookie? A snicker-swiper! 🍪🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become an astronomer? He wanted to steal a glimpse of the stars! 🌟🚨

What do you call a thief’s favorite ice cream flavor? Rocky Rob! 🍨🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a painter? He loved to steal the scene! 🎨🚨

What’s a thief’s favorite type of sandwich? A pilfered peanut butter and jelly! 🥪🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a bartender? He could swipe tips without anyone noticing! 💸🚨

What do you call a thief’s favorite animal? A bandit badger! 🦡🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a photographer? He loved capturing stolen moments! 📸🚨

What’s a thief’s favorite type of exercise? A snatch and run! 🏃‍♂️🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a baker? He loved swiping a bit of dough! 🍞🚨

What do you call a thief’s favorite type of weather? A burglar breeze! 🌬️🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a librarian? He loved stealing a quiet moment! 📖🚨

What’s a thief’s favorite type of book? A pickpocket guide! 📚🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a florist? He loved taking flowers for a joyride! 💐🚨

What do you call a thief’s favorite type of clothing? Swipe-tshirts! 👕🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a scientist? He was great at stealing formulas! 🧪🚨

What’s a thief’s favorite type of coffee? A latte lifted! ☕🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a coach? He loved stealing victories! 🏆🚨

What do you call a thief’s favorite type of movie? A heist flick! 🎥🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a sailor? He wanted to steal the sea breeze! ⛵🚨

What’s a thief’s favorite type of car? A burglar-mobile! 🚙🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become an actor? He loved stealing the limelight! 🎭🚨

What do you call a thief’s favorite type of candy bar? A take five-finger discount! 🍫🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a tailor? He was great at stealing the perfect fit! 🧵🚨

What’s a thief’s favorite type of greeting? A stolen hello! 👋🕵️‍♂️

Why did the thief become a musician? He loved stealing a tune! 🎼🚨

What do you call a thief’s favorite type of joke? A heist-erical pun! 😂🕵️‍♂️

Hilarious Theft Puns

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